Vampires, Ghouls, and Ghosts, oh my!

Girl: It smells like blasphemy!

–Madison Square Park

Overheard by: I only smelled mulch

Tattooed chick: It’s Christa. You remember, Christ with an A, because I’m so fucking godlike.

–8th & A

Overheard by: Meredith

Guy: She looks like the female version of Dave, which is a bit disconcerting to me…He looks like traditional representations of Jesus.

–Manhattan bound L train

Overheard by: Philip

Guy: Me and Jesus don’t get along.

–W 30th, between 7th & 8th

Overheard by: Maggie

Femme on cell: So, like, our periods stopped at the same time for two hours so we could have sex and I was like, God loves me. Jesus was clearly gay.

–103rd & Broadway

Middle-Aged lady: Yeah, you can’t go switchin’ churches like that. That’s too many different spirits. You’ll be dealin’ with demons and stuff.

–F train

Overheard by: Yanni

College guy: No, really, dude. The guy’s a full-time, licensed exorcist!

–W 4th St A/C/E uptown platform

Overheard by: EJ

Muscular dude: I am devoted to crack but not to Christ! Please explain that to me. I’m a good crackhead, but I ain’t a good Christian!

–Downtown 1 train

Street vendor: NYU students, you gotta love them. They be going through hell and jumping out of windows and shit.

–Spring & Broadway

Loud, nerdy guy: They’re basically a bunch of shitty MySpace kids with mutant powers. Like the hedgehog kid: his power is that spikes come out of his body, what the fuck is that? I could roll around in glue and syringes and get that guy’s power.

–Prospect Park

Overheard by: Zoh

Middle-Aged man: I think vampires are kind of stupid. They seem to care an awful lot about how they look and what others think. It’s like, who cares? You’re six hundred years old and on your way to hell, hello?

–5th Ave

Overheard by: Someone who thinks he has a point

Asian girl: One of my cousins is a dragon.

–32nd St

Overheard by: sneakyintern

Guy on cell: And you got the vampires from where?

–21st & 9th

Rich young woman: She’s a big-time lawyer. You wouldn’t know her name or anything, but she’s got an office in Rochester, and one in the Twin Towers.

–Metro-North train, Grand Central

Skinny JAP: Omgosh! Let’s go watch the World Cup! Like, we’ll see witchcraft…magic…stuff.
Fat JAP: Oh yeah, totally. That stuff from Harry Potter.

–Greenwich & North Moore

Overheard by: Alyson Leigh

College applicant: I want to learn how to shoot a gun.
Admissions rep: Okay, well, we don’t do that here — it’s a Criminal Justice college degree.
College applicant: But they told me I need to learn to shoot a gun.
Admissions rep: Who’s they?
College applicant: The aliens. You know, them.
Admissions rep: I see. Well, maybe you should go to the CIA.

–30th Pl & Thomson Ave, Long Island City

Dude: Do you guys sell bling?
Store guy: All the way in the back, under the skeleton pimp.

–Halloween Adventure, 4th Avenue

Overheard by: Hank Luxford

Man: Can I see the takeout menu, please?
Counter guy: Do you want to stay?

–George’s Lunch, Greenwich Street

Guy #1: I found my old Nintendo yesterday
Guy #2: Yo, remember Game Genie and shit?
Hobo: I had a genie once.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Creighton

Guy: So you still going to be an elf for Halloween?
Girl: No, actually I’m going to be a fairy, but fairies are part of the elf family.

–6th & B

College girl: Is it possible to bring back the dead?
Professor guy: Well, for now, scientists are working on making a
single cell, which is creating life. That’s not the same as bringing
back the dead. That poses the “life after death” question.
College girl: I think about zombies all of the time.
Professor guy: All of the time?
College girl: Yeah, I’m always thinking about zombies.
Professor guy: What do your parents think?

–Meyer Hall, Washington Place

Overheard by: Steven Greenbaum