Drunken woman: So why did you decide to marry her?
Drunken man: Because she just moved in!
–Ayza Wine & Chocolate Bar
Overheard by: Colleen
Drunken woman: So why did you decide to marry her?
Drunken man: Because she just moved in!
–Ayza Wine & Chocolate Bar
Overheard by: Colleen
Guy (smelling weed, to male friend): Hey man, you smell that?
Girl: Yeah, it smells like my dad.
–Terminal 5
Overheard by: Adam
Tourist: Hi, what do we need to do to join the tour?
Tour guide: Well, there's an entrance exam.
Tourist: Really?
Tour guide: No. But based on this conversation, you would've failed.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Chuckles
Conductor #1: He's like “it doesn't bite!” I'm like “I know it doesn't bike…it constricts! The last thing I need is that thing getting loose and finding some four-year-old kid wrapped in a snake. You can get on, but Daisy stays on the platform.
Conductor #2: Who brings a snake out in public anyway?
–LIRR, Woodside station
Overheard by: I'm with the conductor on this one…
Male third grader: It's illegal to marry your sibling.
Female third grader: Yeah, unless you're from Europe.
–Bus
Overheard by: wishing i was still 8
Guy: I told my sister when I die, I want her to cremate me and put the ashes in coffee cans, so people will think they're coffee grounds and I'll be in their coffee.
Girl: You are so stupid.
–4th St & Ave A
Overheard by: Better than <a href=
Gay guy: Do I have a dick on my face?
Fag hag: I don't think so.
–50th & 11th
Overheard by: Memory
Guy #1:So what did he die of?
Guy #2: HIV–and complications to rattlesnake venom. I gotta write a book, right?
–Chelsea Cinemas, 23rd St
Overheard by: Doug Bost
Fireman on loudspeaker, as he drives by Magnolia Bakery in fire truck: It's just a cupcake!
–11th & Bleecker
Overheard by: Chris
Disappointed 20-something girl to girlfriends: Yeah, but they don't have chocolate covered penises there.
–Bleecker St
Overheard by: Brookelyn
Large Italian guy: What happened to my tiramisu? That's what I want to know!
–LIRR to Penn Station
Girl covered in pink frosting on cell: There's frosting all over me!
–170th & Broadway
Overheard by: Poogins
Hipster guy on cell: Yeah, so the food was like chocolate and chorizo…mother fucking chocolate and chorizo… No, it was good… You should try it… Why not? Fuck veganism! Some website… Myjambi. M-y-j-a-m-b-i. Why chocolate? How should I know? It's for the website. Yes, the website! I don't know why the dog was there.
–28th & Park
Old woman to overweight woman: You look like you would know the answer to this… Where is a cupcake bakery around here?
–53rd & 3rd
