Women

Man helping woman carry stroller down stairs: If you had taken the bloody pill when you said you were taking it, we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place.

–Broadway-Lafayette B/D/F/V Station

Overheard by: Jon A.

Man walking with girlfriend, loudly: Wait, did you bring your diaphragm?

–Times Square

Loud woman on cell: How many times do you have to have sex, and have a baby, before you realize: "If I have sex without a condom I will get someone pregnant."? Seriously!

–Broadway & 103rd St

Overheard by: Amy

Guy on phone: I always tell people that sex with you with a condom is better than sex with other girls without a condom.

–Outside Trader Joe's, 14th St

Zoo guide: This zoo likes to be careful with breeding animals by taking into account genes and the like. But then again, Zippy–the baby snow monkey–came along. So be careful with your birth control.

–Central Park Zoo, by the Snow Monkeys

Girl to another: I just don't see why we can't make our own condoms.

–14th St & 4th Ave

Lady gentrifier: Like Joey Buttafuoco?
Guy gentrifier: Yes, like Joey Buttafuoco.

–Prospect Heights, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Jordamn!

Woman on phone: Um, like, there are no one-legged dancers. But there are deaf dancers! You could be one!

–66th & Broadway

Woman on cell: You don’t go to work, you go to day care. You don’t do shit!

–76th & Lexington

Woman #1, fanning herself on crowded train: It is hot.
Woman #2, also fanning herself: If this were the Underground Railroad, damn, I would have been a slave forever.

–A Train

Woman: Where’s the restaurant?
Museum lady: It’s the next door on your left.
Woman: Oh, how do you get in?

–MoMA

Man: …and then we visited the Sphinx and the Great Pyramid.
Woman: The Great Pyramid is where the people had their apartments, right?

–The Village

Overheard by: Ava

Toddler, screaming: Eeeeeeaaaaaeeeeeeaaaaeeeeeeee.
Tranny woman: Oh my gawd, you so need to win American Idol!
Toddler: …

–F Train

Overheard by: Faye

Woman: Maybe I didn’t find Barnard that easily, but I sure found the zoo all right.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Todd Seavey

Woman #1: No! I’m not going to tell you. You’ll just want to argue about it.
Woman #2: What?! I won’t argue, just tell me!
Woman #1: Definitely not telling you!
Woman #2: Why not?!
Woman #1: You always want to argue!
Woman #2: I won’t argue!
(woman #1 laughs out loud)

–10th St & Ave B

Overheard by: ears wide open