Woman on phone: Um, like, there are no one-legged dancers. But there are deaf dancers! You could be one!
–66th & Broadway
Woman on phone: Um, like, there are no one-legged dancers. But there are deaf dancers! You could be one!
–66th & Broadway
Woman on cell: You don’t go to work, you go to day care. You don’t do shit!
–76th & Lexington
Woman #1, fanning herself on crowded train: It is hot.
Woman #2, also fanning herself: If this were the Underground Railroad, damn, I would have been a slave forever.
–A Train
Woman: Where’s the restaurant?
Museum lady: It’s the next door on your left.
Woman: Oh, how do you get in?
–MoMA
Man: …and then we visited the Sphinx and the Great Pyramid.
Woman: The Great Pyramid is where the people had their apartments, right?
–The Village
Overheard by: Ava
Toddler, screaming: Eeeeeeaaaaaeeeeeeaaaaeeeeeeee.
Tranny woman: Oh my gawd, you so need to win American Idol!
Toddler: …
–F Train
Overheard by: Faye
Woman: Maybe I didn’t find Barnard that easily, but I sure found the zoo all right.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Todd Seavey
Woman #1: No! I’m not going to tell you. You’ll just want to argue about it.
Woman #2: What?! I won’t argue, just tell me!
Woman #1: Definitely not telling you!
Woman #2: Why not?!
Woman #1: You always want to argue!
Woman #2: I won’t argue!
(woman #1 laughs out loud)
–10th St & Ave B
Overheard by: ears wide open
Woman, 40s: …so I was like, no man can get away with that! I won’t let him get away with that! So I decided to leave him. I took my clothes, my jewelry, and my money, I didn’t need no more than that…are you listening to me? So I packed my bags, took my jewelry, his jewelry, my money, his money, and left $5 on the dresser–leave him broke, right? And then before I left, he was sleeping? And you know, the muscle still works even when he’s sleeping (there’s kids around but y’all know what muscle I’m talking about). So I did what I had to do, right, and then I took the superglue and stuck it right to his stomach. I glued that shit down. I rubbed it all over his hair down there, too. Got him good. Neighbors told me he had to go to the hospital, get that shit surgically removed.
–4 train
Overheard by: Anna
Woman: I think she’s Russian. No wait, I think she is from Tennessee, yeah she’s like this poor girl from Tennessee. So anyways, she goes to the Hamptons… Wait now I remember, she is from Utah; she’s Mormon. That’s it. So she goes to the Hamptons and meets this guy…
Man: Wait a minute, what’s a Russian Mormon doing in the Hamptons?
Woman, annoyed: [groan]
–Whole Foods Columbus Circle
