Guy #1: You’ve been snackin’ recently.
Guy #2: What do you mean?
Guy #1: Spitting in my sandwiches –and I still eat them, but there’s no trust!
–4 Train
Overheard by: Been Jamin’
Guy #1: You’ve been snackin’ recently.
Guy #2: What do you mean?
Guy #1: Spitting in my sandwiches –and I still eat them, but there’s no trust!
–4 Train
Overheard by: Been Jamin’
Male student: I think it was just like… quiet racism.
Exuberant black teacher, whispering: Nigga!
–ICE High School, 16th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Lady-Bastard
Guy with thick New York accent: Come on, let’s go.
[Dog lies down on back.]Guy: Don’t do that Mahatma Gandhi shit!
–Washington Square Dog Run
Overheard by: KidUgly
Girl: He says that she is his soulmate. Is he fucking kidding me?
Guy: She is a semen-gurgling road whore.
–Subway Inn, 60th St, UES
Cute nerd girl playing Scrabble #1: How many Ts in frottage?
Cute nerd girl playing Scrabble #2: Frottage? What’s that?
Cute nerd girl playing Scrabble #1: It’s when you rub against someone in a crowd, sexually. Like dry humping.
Cute nerd girl playing Scrabble #2: Oh yeeeeah, I knew that. Jeez, I haven’t heard that word since that Psychology of Sex class I took a few years ago.
Cute nerd girl playing Scrabble #1, enthusiastically: That’s because you don’t read enough slash!
–Starbucks, 2nd & 9th
Crazy church lady into microphone: There are no drugs, sex, or rock n’ roll in hell. Repent and have your fill in heaven.
–42nd & 6th Subway Station
Overheard by: Tony
Train "preacher" holding his bible: Adam was the first black man! And Eve was the first white woman! And Adam sinned and got them kicked out of the Garden of Eden. Then they had a whole lot of brown babies! But they set the stage for black men and white women. That’s why you have Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton running for President today! It’s in the bible!
–2 Train
Preacher: We’ve got a lot of tourists here today and we know why you came -you want to see a black gospel church. And that’s okay, that’s okay! That’s what we are. And you know, some of our members, they do it tough. Why, they come from such rough neighbourhoods as Connecticut and upstate New York …
–Abyssinian Baptist Church, Harlem
Bible thumper: You need a ticket to get on the heaven-bound train! And the ticket is Jesus Christ.
–3 Train
Street preacher: … And what is good for the goose is good for the gander! And what is a gander, anyway?
–St Mark’s Place
Overheard by: EthanK
Girl, to boyfriend: And that’s why you can never trust the emotions or actions of someone whose star sign is ruled by mars.
–20th & 7th
Overheard by: ALR
Barista to waiter: I don’t mind that I spent $130 on a pair of Oakleys cause I can look at the sun for a while and it won’t hurt my eyes.
–Long Island Railroad
Overheard by: Chris K.
Baby boomer hippie to college student: Dude, I just got me some of that Afghani shit. Took me to the mooooooon and back, baby!
–Washington Square
Overheard by: Summer
Doonesbury looking dude: Imagine what life would be like without the sun.
–40th & Park Ave
Overheard by: Ledbetter
Girl, being shaken awake by friend: But Rachel, where are you going to put the black hole?
–A Train
Bum on street, to several protesters passing by in pure white bio-hazard suits: Aw… You people wait right there, I’m a run and get some cigarettes then I’m comin’ to the moon with ya’ll. Seriously… Wait.
–45 & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Comack
Homeless man, to toddler: Can I get a high-five?
[Toddler high-fives homeless man.]Homeless man: Can I get a dollar?
–D Train
Overheard by: sara
Shivering bum: Yo, can you guys help me out? Otherwise I’m gonna sing a song and I don’t wanna hurt your ears.
–N 7th & Bedford
Black homeless man: Excuse me… Can anyone help a broke nigga get his eat on?
–6 Train
Bum: Dollar for your favorite bum?
–Lafayette & E. 4th St
Bum, approaching another bum standing in the only two square feet of sunlit space for many blocks: Yeahh! You found the spot!
–Financial District
Overheard by: nunya
Homeless man: Hello, everyone. My name is Mike*, and I’m homeless and starving. If you have any- [His cell phone rings.] Excuse me. [Picks up phone.] I’m working, man, what’s up?
–Q Train
Dad to young daughter: If you want to hit daddy, you’ll have to take a number.
–Outside Court St. Bagels, Court & Bergen, Cobble Hill, Brooklyn
Exhausted dad to loud, hyperactive, young son: Yes, everyone knows you’re here. Terminal six food court line.
–JFK
Overheard by: Jen
Mother, to seven-year-old son as she enters a liquor store: Jesus, what’s wrong with you? This is why nobody likes you -you’re annoying!
–Outside Liquor Store, W 57th St
Overheard by: PetRunner
Father quizzically looking at waddling toddler: How can you be anti-park? I mean, you’re a kid! You can run around!
–Fort Greene Park
Overheard by: Brooklyn Dodgy
Sassy inner-city mom to dawdling daughter: Get ovah here or I’m going to have to take out my imaginary belt.
–Tompkins Square Park
Mother, to five-year-old daughter picking up cookies: Is that what you eat at daddy’s house?
–The Food Emporium, 88th St
Overheard by: charlotte
Mother speaking sternly to her infant in the baby carriage: Capiche???
–53rd & 9th
Overheard by: AH Hell’s Kitchen
Tisch guy #1: I haven’t used it yet, how is it?
Tisch guy #2: It’s so cool, you can use it on a guy or a girl. The results are great.
Tisch girl: Ooooh! You can use it on a girl, I never even thought to try that.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: yakyak
