Too-cool-for-school-yuppie #1: I can’t believe David Schwimmer didn’t say hello to us!
Too-cool-for-school-yuppie #2: Was it something we said?
Too-cool-for-school-yuppie #1: Maybe he didn’t see us.
–The Village
Overheard by: Surprise, surprise…
Too-cool-for-school-yuppie #1: I can’t believe David Schwimmer didn’t say hello to us!
Too-cool-for-school-yuppie #2: Was it something we said?
Too-cool-for-school-yuppie #1: Maybe he didn’t see us.
–The Village
Overheard by: Surprise, surprise…
Cashier chick #1: Sundays, now.
Cashier chick #2: You like working Sundays?
Cashier chick #1: I love working Sundays. So quiet. You could sleep, like, three hours. Will Smith came in yesterday! He was shooting a movie.
–Duane Reade, 56th & 6th
Woman: I can’t tell Matt Dillon and his brother apart.
Man: I know! I thought it was Matt Dillon on Entourage.
Woman: It is Matt Dillon on Entourage.
Man: No, it’s his brother!
Woman: Nooo, it’s Matt Dillon…
Man: Wait, is it?
–1 train, 14th St
Overheard by:
Girl #1: Who is Tom Cruise anyway?
Girl #2: Just some old guy.
–Uptown 1 train
Overheard by: Adrienne Brand
Tourist #1: Ha! Look at her, she’s trying to look just like Bernadette Peters.
Tourist #2: That is Bernadette Peters and she heard you. Can we go now?
–51st & 5th
Overheard by: A tourist who’s not clueless.
Copy boy: Mr. Murdoch on the line.
The news editor on duty picks up the phone.
News editor: Right. Right. OK…Source? No source…Right…It’s Gephardt. OK.
–NY Post Offices
Man to woman: You wouldn't procreate with Boomer Esiason, even though he's the king of Cincinnati?
–Deli, Canal & Hudson
Overheard by: Uncle Bling
Man on cell: Elvis made ten million dollars last year and he's dead. There's no reason I can't make a thousand.
–Park Slope
Hipster: I like Steve Buscemi a lot more than I like you.
–Life Cafe, Bushwick
Overheard by: D
Woman in Southern accent to man: Look, the McGraw-Hill building. Tim McGraw and Faith Hill must own that building!
–W 49th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Michael
Middle aged white man to friend: I finally figured it out. "Mystikal" sounds like a constipated Samuel L. Jackson.
–LIRR
Dude: Death by a stingray? Fitting if he died from a crocodile, but it would be ironic if he died from being killed by a serial killer dressed in a crocodile costume.
Chick: Haha… Yeah…
–W 4th Bun Shop
Overheard by: Lux
Girl, during auction for Haiti: I want to motorboat Susan Sarandon. Can I bid on that?
Guy: I don't see why not. It's pretty much like a handshake, except between your face and her tits.
–SPIN NY
Dude: Shit in the pussy!
Wolf Parade singer: …Did someone just say “shit in the pussy”?
–Bowery Ballroom, Delancey Street
Overheard by: claudia gallego
Suit: Hey asshole standing up, sit the fuck down!
Hipster guy: Hey asshole sitting down, stand the fuck up!
Suit: I didnt pay $800 to look at the back of your head!
Hipster guy: Come down here and try something and i’ll sue your ass! Nice suit, fag!
–Cream Concert, Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: zetasmack
Girl: Hey, you guys were great. If you’re not doing anything after, call my number, I wrote it next to the monument [on this dollar].
Jurassic 5 singer: Wow..uh, great. Take care, now.
Girl: Yeah, see you later.
Jurassic 5 singer: …Dude, she just gave me her phone number. You take it.
Guy: Yeah? Wow, thanks!
Jurassic 5 singer: Yeah, but buddy, you make sure you tap that shit, now, y’hear? A’right.
–70th & Broadway
Overheard by: Sharon B
Pat O’Brien: Um, excuse me…
Bouncer: Oh shit, that’s Pat O’Brien, that’s my peoples.
Guy: …Aw, come on, we’ve been waiting out here for an hour and Pat O’Brien gets in?
Bouncer: Yo, don’t step, Pat O’Brien is good peoples.
–Canal Room, West Broadway
Drag queen: Madonna should die! She sucks! She’s a rapist, not an artist!…Madonna should die! I’ll kill her!
Guy: Get a vagina, bitch!
–The Roxy, West 18th Street
Overheard by: G-Lock
