Teacher #1: We could videotape each other.
Teacher #2: And then we could put different names on them.
–Teacher’s lounge
Teacher #1: We could videotape each other.
Teacher #2: And then we could put different names on them.
–Teacher’s lounge
Mom to 13-year-old boy: Honey, that was really scatological.
–Bleecker & 6th
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Woman: No, tiny Katie — the one with the enormous mammary protruberances.
–R train, Queens Plaza
Overheard by: I mean I wanna squeeze ’em!
Suit mom to teen daughter: We should go, but before we do, perhaps we should urinate.
–Barnes & Noble, Court St
Overheard by: Zenana
Dude: I have many ways to distance myself from other people. Primarily gastronomically.
–12th St, between 2nd & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: tbull
Man on cell: I am so not litigious. I am, like, violently not litigious.
–66th & Broadway
Overheard by: Nora
Girl: I mean, come on! We’re in college! Can’t the word ‘silly’ stay in the dorms? I mean, there’s a dictionary full of words that could be used to describe something so… erroneous.
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Kate Melvin
Guy: No, I don’t wanna see that bitch again.
Girl: Oh, it’s not that bad. It’s like… You have your arm around me, and you’re wearing a bra.
–E 93rd St & Lex
Overheard by: Kerri
Wailing six-year-old boy: But whyyy?!
Mom: Well, I know, honey, but kick him in the shins, don’t kick him in the balls!
–Prince & Broadway
Chick: … And I’ve been so tired.
Dude: Maybe you should eat more.
Chick: Well, I have been drinking water.
–Post office, 52nd St
Overheard by: what what
Chick #1: Should I get the soup or the tuna?
Chick #2: You’ll like the soup for sure… Get the tuna.
–Perry St
Woman #1: Well, have fun in Vegas.
Woman #2: Thanks. I want to win big and get laid.
Woman #1: Well, use protection, honey.
Woman #2: Is that a new product?
–Macy’s Herald Square
SUNY purchase student #1: My fucking head hurts.
SUNY purchase student #2 pulling out bag of white pills: Dude, take these pills. You’ll feel better.
SUNY purchase student #1: Uh… What are they?
SUNY purchase student #2: Uh, codeine I think? I don’t know. Yeah, I stole them from a kid at the party last night. He said he found them in a garbage can.
SUNY purchase student #1: Jesus, dude, no.
–Grand Central
Woman: Come here, sweetheart! You lousy fucking Puerto Rican scum!
–4th & MacDougal
Construction worker to another: Come here, I’ll buy you some food ’cause you’re my man. What, you want Puerto Rican food? They’ve got Puerto Rican food here.
–Burger King, 46th St, between 5th & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Suit: Have you ever been to Croatia? They treated me like a god just for being Puerto Rican.
–M31 bus, between Madison & Lex
Dude: Nawww, don’t go to Puerto Rico. It’s just like New Jersey!
–Outside Caliente Cab Co.
Black girl: My daddy says I can’t fight her because she’s pregnant.
Wigger chick: Her face ain’t pregnant, is it?
–Subway bathroom, 4th & 6th
