Awkward middle-aged man: Hi.
College student: Uh, hi.
Awkward middle-aged man: Sorry I keep staring at you. It's just that you remind me of a mythical creature. Or maybe it's a Muppet.
College student: Oh. Let me guess…Snuffleupagus?
Awkward middle-aged man: Yes, that's it!
–6 Train
Man, after bumping into girl: Sorry.
Girl: Sorry.
Man: Actually, I’m not sorry, that was fun!
–Strand Bookstore
Overheard by: sternie
Conductor, speaking in a robot voice: Watch the gap, watch the gap, watch the gap, watch the gap, watch the gap, watch… Sorry, my finger fell off the button. Watch the gap.
–LIRR
Train conductor: This is a Brooklyn-bound A experience to Lefferts boulevard. Have an optimistic day!
–A Train
Overheard by: soothed passenger
Conductor, in droll voice: For the fifteenth million time, there is train traffic ahead.
–1 Train
Conductor: This is 207th street, the last and final stop. Please collect all your personal belongings and leave the train. Goodnight and happy wabbit season.
–A Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Conductor: Thank you for riding on the C line, the best subway line in the whole, wide world.
–C Train
Overheard by: traPt
Conductor: If you want to get off at South Ferry, please go to the first five cars of the train. All passengers getting off at South Ferry, please move along the platform to the first five cars of the train. Yes, the front of the train is the direction the train was moving.
–1 Train
Conductor: We apologize for the delay, but this happens on the weekends. For info on service changes log onto www.mta.info. If you don’t have a computer, watch NY1, if you don’t have a TV, listen to 1010 Wins, if you don’t have a radio, call 718-330-1234, if you don’t have a phone, go home and wait for a miracle.
–N Train
Overheard by: subway rider
Brunette: I think that's why I don't have any girlfriends. It's just… I'm so tired of apologizing for being in med school and being so smart. And I think people really resent me. But I've been talking with my mom, and we've come to the realization that I have low self esteem.
Friend: Yeah, you talk about med school a lot.
–50th & 9th
Overheard by: Natalie
Queer #1: I am sorry, I did not mean it.
Queer #2 (angrily): What do you mean you didn’t mean it? You told me that you loved me. You can’t just take that back!
Queer #1: Sorry.
Queer #2: What do you mean you’re sorry!?
(pause for a block)
Queer #1: Thanks for the help. Now I feel ready to tell Brian.
–Univeristy Place &14th St
Mom to little daughter: You don't need to say that part. Just say “excuse me.”
Little daughter: Excuse me… I farted!
–67th St & Columbus Ave
Girl, to crowd of friends: Bye, you guys!
Friends: Bye!
Guy friend: Oh, and sorry about that whole “no Holocaust” thing. I was drunk… *really* drunk.
–Broadway & Waverly Place
Overheard by: Hunter
Drunk girl #1: She is a cunt that needs to get fucked up!
Drunk girl #2: She needs to be killed. Oh my god, that was so mean, I'm sorry.
Drunk girl #1: Goonies never say sorry.
–Ave A
Girl on cell: Sorry I texted you when you were giving birth.
–27th St & Park Ave
20-something girl: I kept saying, "I emailed a text to him!"
–Pub, 59th & 3rd
Overheard by: Bluetoothed them a postcard
20-something girl correcting her friend's text message: No, you don't need an apostrophe there. It's "hos," plural, not "of or pertaining to a ho."
–M15 Bus
Overheard by: Lauren
Guy with suitcase on cell: I sent him a text asking if I could stay at his place, and he said sure. I find out today he was being sarcastic.
–116th & Broadway
Student: Okay, it's 3:20. I think it's an appropriate time to text Ben and tell him I had a sex dream about him.
–Sarah Lawrence College
Overheard by: Anna
