Thug: This was what I was tryin’ to tell him. I mean, why not? We got thumbs just like them monkeys.
Thugette: Yeah.
Thug: Some people even look like them apes too. You ever seen someone who looks like an ape?
Thugette: Yeah. She was pretty.
–Museum of Natural History
Hobo: Ladies and gentlemen, I am homeless and I have no money. I am also ugly — that is why I have no friends.
–Kingston-Throop Station
Overheard by: Ann Lee
Old man passerby to hot guy kissing ugly chick: You can do better, son! You can do better!
–B train, 86th St
Tall Brit on cell: In Europe they definitely have an ugly girl problem, but back home in England it’s a damn epidemic.
–45th & 9th
Ugly beer-guzzler: Didn’t you know that they send all of the ugly people to Cleveland? Because then they’re all there together, and they feel comfortable enough to mate. Of course, I had to get out of there and come to New York!
–79th St Boat Basin Café
Overheard by: amalthya
Old guy to high school chick: You are very beautiful, but that shirt makes you look ugly!
–D train
Old lady #1: The exterminator. He’s an extremely nice man. Isn’t he a nice man?
Old lady #2: Yes, he was very nice.
Old lady #1: We should hire him more often.
Old lady #2: Oh, you’re so bad.
–B61 bus
Overheard by: aspiring old lady
Four-year-old boy: I'm sexy.
Mother: No, you're handsome.
Four-year-old boy: I'm sexy!
Mother: No! You're handsome!
–D Train
Skeevy vendor to girl purchasing sunglasses: Here, I polish for you.
Girl: Oh, thank you.
Skeevy vendor: You pretty girl. I polish for you. For ugly girls -never.
–St Mark’s Place
Overheard by: Mariah
Girl #1: How can you like Peter? He’s completely crazy.
Girl #2: Yeah, but he’s like…eating disorder hot.
–Columbia University
Girl: She’s hot.
Guy: She’s got a mouth like a duck.
Girl: But a hot duck.
Guy: Oh sure, the hottest duck in the pond, but still a duck.
–44th & 8th
Middle Eastern man to register girl at sex shop: You have most beautiful eyes in Manhattan.
Register girl: Um, thanks.
Middle Eastern man: You look like European girl.
Register girl: I get that a lot.
Middle Eastern man: Let's go out for drink tonight.
Register girl: No.
Middle Eastern man: Okay, thank you!
–Sex Shop, 5th Ave
Overheard by: Nanda
Dude: Oh, man. You need Flash to check out this restaurant's website.
Chick: Does that mean it's really nice?
–Starbucks, W 53rd St
Chelsea guy #1: …but no, seriously, you look really hot. I mean you’ve always been in great shape, but…
Chelsea guy #2: Yeah, but you know it’s all about attitude anyway. I could stop working out and guys would still be dropping at my feet. They always have been.
–NYSC, West 14th Street
Overheard by: J-Mo.
