Office guy #1: She’s attractive, but not hot. I see woman prettier that her on the subway every day.
Office guy #2: Really?
Office guy #2: You should get on the N train; it’s pretty good.
–57th Street office
Office guy #1: She’s attractive, but not hot. I see woman prettier that her on the subway every day.
Office guy #2: Really?
Office guy #2: You should get on the N train; it’s pretty good.
–57th Street office
Girl #1: He wasn’t even that cute. Like, not good-looking at all.
Girl #2: But you fucked him?
Girl #1: Of course, he was Puerto Rican.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Jim VB
Guy #1: Those pants are cute. Did you buy them with the paint on them?
Guy #2: No, I was painting last weekend.
–68th St Loews Theater
Overheard by: amalthya
Babysitter: Girl, you look good.
Friend: I know, right?
Babysitter: Well, not that good.
–Tot Lot, Victorian Flatbush
Guy to girl with afro crossing the street: Hey gorgeous! Gorgeous! Let me massage your kinky tips!
–8th Ave & W 4th
Comedy club promoter to hot girl: Hi, do you like comedy? (girl keeps walking) Okay, do you like skinny white guys then?
–42nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Galina
Young boy reading aloud in halting monotone: I like that outfit. It would look great crumpled up on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning. You have 206 bones in your body, want one more?
–Borders, Kips Bay
Overheard by: Emily
Fat white guy in Mets jersey to hot blonde: Hello, my name is Tom and I'm horny. (blonde keeps walking)
–Lexington & 50th
Black man to female passerby: S'cuse me miss… Not to seem rude, but to be honest…for a white girl, you got a nice butt.
–5th Ave
Conductor on PA: Ladies and gentlemen, this last weekend I went to a club…never again. I walked in, sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. I saw a beautiful lady across the bar, went up to her and said, "Where have you been all my life?" She said back to me "I think for the first half of your life, I wasn't born." This is 59th, Columbus circle, have a good day, ladies and gentlemen.
–A Train
Black hobo to young tourist couple with baby: Mmmmmmmmmmm… That's a nice lookin' baby! You must've done good that night… or morning. (laughs)
Father: Uh… haha… yeah.
Black hobo: I need to find me a white lady so I can make me a Barack Obama. Mmm-hmm!
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: Emily
13-year-old girl #1: I can't believe he's with that ho now.
13-year-old girl #2: It's 'cause she just got right up in his face and spread 'em. She just spread 'em.
13-year-old girl #1: Well, yeah, I mean she's ugly so she'd had to do something really extreme, you know?
13-year-old girl #2: Yeah, girl, she just spread 'em.
13-year-old girl #1: Whatever, it might have been easy but I could do all kinds of freaky things she just can't ever do for him. She made it easy, but she ain't a freak like me. I can do him all kinds of freaky ways that no one else can.
13-year-old girl #2: Well, I can do some freaky shit too.
13-year-old girl #1: Yeah, maybe. But not like me. I think I'm the freakiest woman alive. I got secrets you just can't even imagine. And I'm not sharin'.
–1 Train
Overheard by: shocked and appalled
Thug: This was what I was tryin’ to tell him. I mean, why not? We got thumbs just like them monkeys.
Thugette: Yeah.
Thug: Some people even look like them apes too. You ever seen someone who looks like an ape?
Thugette: Yeah. She was pretty.
–Museum of Natural History
Hobo: Ladies and gentlemen, I am homeless and I have no money. I am also ugly — that is why I have no friends.
–Kingston-Throop Station
Overheard by: Ann Lee
Old man passerby to hot guy kissing ugly chick: You can do better, son! You can do better!
–B train, 86th St
Tall Brit on cell: In Europe they definitely have an ugly girl problem, but back home in England it’s a damn epidemic.
–45th & 9th
Ugly beer-guzzler: Didn’t you know that they send all of the ugly people to Cleveland? Because then they’re all there together, and they feel comfortable enough to mate. Of course, I had to get out of there and come to New York!
–79th St Boat Basin Café
Overheard by: amalthya
Old guy to high school chick: You are very beautiful, but that shirt makes you look ugly!
–D train
Old lady #1: The exterminator. He’s an extremely nice man. Isn’t he a nice man?
Old lady #2: Yes, he was very nice.
Old lady #1: We should hire him more often.
Old lady #2: Oh, you’re so bad.
–B61 bus
Overheard by: aspiring old lady
