Brooklyn

Woman: Oh god, I hope nobody takes that out of context.
Man: Takes what out of context?
Woman: A thing I just thought.

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Mike N

Black guy: Hey, man, can you tell me how to get to all those buildings over there?
Hipster guy: You mean Manhattan?
Black guy: Yeah.
Hipster guy: Um, you can’t walk there from here…unless you can walk on water!

–Williamsburg

Lady: I was fighting with this guy and his dog was in the room; that dog bit me.

–Cobble Hill

Overheard by: d.luxxe

Old woman: Man..Oprah done did it! Everyone loves that bitch, man. She was born barefoot in South Carolina and made it still.
Old man #1: Yeah, she’s cool.
Old woman: You know what she did? She done gave everyone who was in that hurricane Christina a five hundred dollar baby stroller! She good like that. I love that woman.
Old man #2: Did you see that book guy, what he did to her?
Old woman: Uh-uh, no, what?
Old man #2: Some guy wrote a cookbook on her show–
Old man #1: No, no, man. He wrote a book about being a junkie and being in jail and it was all bullshit. That guy Frey.
Old man #2: Oh…I thought the book was about cooking.
Old woman: Well, his name is Frey.

–Bridge Plaza Clinic, LIC

Overheard by: Willie Hellenbach

Guy: I don’t know what they put in their food, but I took one dump, and then I had to take another!

–Downtown Brooklyn

Overheard by: Vic Payback

Chick #1: Fucking shit, man, this bitch is kicking our asses!
Chick #2: You just used four different curse words in one sentence.

–Mark Lanes, Bay Ridge

Overheard by: Becka Dash

Girl #1: Marilyn Monroe is, like, one of my idols.
Girl #2: Wait, isn’t he that guy with the glass eye?
Girl #1: Um…no.

–Brooklyn Tech, Fort Greene

Overheard by: alina suriel

Girl #1: Oh my god! I was peeing so much! It just kept coming! So like I was like sitting there all last period peeing!
Girl #2: Oh my god! You should go to a doctor.
Girl #1: Like, yeah…It was crazy. I just kept peeing…
Girl #2: The kid next to you is recording this on his cell phone.
Girl #1: Oh my god, stop!

–Goldstein High School, Manhattan Beach

Overheard by: Justin Fores

Little boy: You know what the problem is with clowns these days? They
try and do magic, too.

–Target, Atlantic Center

Overheard by: Mater Baiter

Lady: Excuse me, but I’m looking for a book.
Store chick: And?
Lady: I don’t remember the title or author, but the cover is purple.
Store chick: Our purple books are downstairs.
Lady: They sent me up here.
Store chick: We’re sold out of purple books. You want something in a yellow?

–Barnes & Noble, Brooklyn Heights

Overheard by: Gradie Smith