Hobo #1: Hey, that cell phone you sold me — that’s a crackhead cell phone! I want my money back! You sold me a crackhead phone!
Hobo #2: What do you expect? I’m a crackhead.
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: annulla
Hobo #1: Hey, that cell phone you sold me — that’s a crackhead cell phone! I want my money back! You sold me a crackhead phone!
Hobo #2: What do you expect? I’m a crackhead.
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: annulla
Mother: You were a jerk for years.
Son: No, I was a cokehead. There’s a huge difference.
–F train
Overheard by: Shaun Laika
Thugette #1: Man, where the fuck am I gonna get a prom dress and after-party outfit? You know, I should just sell crack! Ain’t nobody gonna stop me!
Thugette #2: Yeah, that’s the best part about being a girl.
–Q46 bus
Overheard by: DaraDay
Headline by: Zorak
Runners-Up:
· “By the way, are you free to babysit that night?” – bobofthejungle
· “Miracle of birth ain’t got nothin’ on pushin'” – Erin
· “Sugar and Crack and Everything Whack” – The Trayster
· “The Third Wave of Feminism Wants Its Money, Bitch” – clevecinema
· “Well, Other Than the Multiple Orgasms…” – Teppy
Dirty Casanova: Yeah, but I always have fun over at First Ave. The other day I saw this crackhead running around naked in front of the club.
Cute girl: He must’ve been freezing.
Dirty Casanova: Yeah, I know what that’s like… Not running naked in the cold, but being addicted to crack.
–G train, Metropolitan stop
Overheard by: Jason Hamlin
Druggie chick in stall #1: Yo, Keesha, does your door have a lock on it?
Druggie chick in stall #2: No, they took them off so we can’t blow coke in here anymore.
Druggie chick in stall #1: What?! That has to be illegal… I’m, like, totally open to rape right now!
–Lower East Side
Overheard by: Allison
Young woman: I paid them a little bit. They paid for Mark to go to a 50 thousand dollar drug rehab and recovery program, so I think they’ll be willing to loan us a thousand.
Man: Maybe, but he was taking it up the butt for crack. I think that’s a whole different scenario.
–Staten Island Ferry
Yuppie lady #1: I just love jogging around the reservoir in Central Park at dawn.
Yuppie lady #2: Yeah, it’s great… The only people out at that time are fitness fanatics and crackheads.
–Elevator, Time Warner Center
NYU guy: Wait, so was it cocaine? It was cocaine, right?
Random girl at another table: Are you guys talking about Anna Nicole?
NYU guy: Yes! I missed the press conference! I feel, like, so irresponsible for not keeping up.
–Starbucks, Astor Pl
Overheard by: Matthew K Johnson
Girl: This friend of mine, her cat killed an endangered bird… in Germany. They had to bury it, like, three feet underground.
–Queens-bound E train
Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie
Dude on cell: I saw Tim Burton on an interview the other day, and I said to my cat, ‘Snicket, behold a man who has never yet combed his hair!’
–AMDA entrance
Overheard by: McKinley’s Friend
Girl: And her cat and my cat are, like, really close…
–BX26 bus
Guy: I mean, I don’t even eat cat…
–14th St & 5th Ave
Guy to friend: No, cocaine. Cats really like cocaine!
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: Kerri
Random chick: You guys waiting in line?
Freshman girl: Yeah, I’m getting my nose pierced.
Random chick: Oh, nice… My friend just got hers done. It’s not supposed to be that bad.
Freshman girl: Do you know if it gets in the way of blowing lines?
Random chick, taken aback: Uhhh… Well, I guess you always have another nostril…
–St. Mark’s
Overheard by: face
