Friend to girl who has just fallen on the street: Are you okay?
Girl: My phone is okay!
–115th St & Broadway
Friend to girl who has just fallen on the street: Are you okay?
Girl: My phone is okay!
–115th St & Broadway
Little boy to little girl: I like you.
Little girl: What?
Little boy: I said “I like looking for rocks.”
–Low Plaza, Columbia University
Girl, loudly in silent computer lab: Is Sunday one word or two?
Friend, avoiding glares from students around the lab: One?
Girl, showing friend Word document with “sun day” written in it: It doesn't say that I'm spelling it wrong!
–Computer Lab, Columbia University
Columbia student to another: When I get rich, I'm totally having the sweat glands in my armpits removed.
–Columbia University
Undergrad to friend: So I should tell you about today's existential crisis…
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Katie Naum
Guy to group of friends: Hey, you guys ever watch that video in health ed, of disabled people having sex? It was upsetting.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: L-Dubbs
Columbia undergrad: I am taking so many classes right now, like 18 credits, cause I have no clue what to do with my life. Part of me wants to go to business school here because I can make a lot of money fast, and part of me wants to go to law school here because it's more practical and will make me more over the long run. But then I am also in this class on genocide, which is a topic I love. So maybe I will do something with that instead.
–Max Cafe, 122nd & Amsterdam Ave
Overheard by: reluctantprof
Guy #1, jogging: Come on, man. We've got to hurry. We only have three minutes.
Guy #2, taking his time: I have no reason to run, 4:20 is just a number to me.
–Columbia University
Ditzy girl #1: You'll never believe it! I woke up this morning and my fingernails were painted!
Ditzy girl #2: You don't remember painting them in the night?
Ditzy girl #1: Not at all! But I did a really good job.
Ditzy girl #2: Yeah, they look great. Maybe I'll come to your room tonight while you're sleeping.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: amalthya
(couple enters elevator, making out and groping each other as they enter)
Meathead boyfriend to semi-attractive girlfriend: Are they going to make me sign out and then sign in when we get back?
Semi-attractive girlfriend: I'm not sure, I think probably.
Meathead boyfriend: Well, if it helps keep you safe…
Semi-attractive girlfriend: Speaking of safe, I think I have another stalker. But this time, he's 6'3″, 230 pounds, and a fireman.
–Columbia Dorm
Overheard by: Z
Old man: I know, I know, that man is a crook.
Older Russian man: A crook! I wish him to die.
Old man: Well, I don't wish death on anyone.
Older Russian man: Bah! I wish you to die. (walks off)
–113th & Broadway
Girl to friend: If it weren't for my sister's dog, I wouldn't have to drink during the day.
–Greenpoint
Overheard by: Kevin
Gay dude to another: It's so amazing how dogs get all up in there. Like, what if people had to introduce themselves that way? How great would it be if when I met you I had to sniff your ass?
–17th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: BT
Girl on cell: So wait, did Dr Siegel really charge you 150 dollars to chop a pimple off the dog's booty?
–Hart & Irving, Brooklyn
Girl to guy: Ever spend a lot of time with a Shih Tzu?
–MacDougal & 3rd St
Female voice outside my window: And I'm keeping the dog leg–I don't even care what you have to say!
–113th St b/w Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
Drunk freshman #1: Dude, work was awful today. Usually I just sit there and drink, today I had to actually do shit. It was bad.
Drunk freshman #2, earnestly: Yo, that sucks dick, man!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Janine
