Size 10 policewoman: Ya know, I gotta gain some weight.
Size 14-plus policewoman: Ya can have some o' me, anytime.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Could'a Been A Contender
Size 10 policewoman: Ya know, I gotta gain some weight.
Size 14-plus policewoman: Ya can have some o' me, anytime.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Could'a Been A Contender
Police officer #1: They really shouldn't let elderly people in this elevator. It's so hot and there's no air circulation, people pass out in here!
Police officer #2: Well, maybe they should just not go on the elevator. (they laugh)
Police officer #1: But seriously, I had to give three old ladies mouth-to-mouth.
Police officer #2: Well, there's a first time for everything.
–168th St
NYPD emergency service cop to man carrying very large hamster in a cage: Whoa, did you pull that out of someone's butt?
–50th St & 10th Ave
Overheard by: Well we're in the neighborhood for it…
30-something to friend: She has everything up her ass but a cock.
–Broadway and Waverly
Tall man to short lady behind her wearing backpack: If you shove that bag any further up my ass, it'll be coming out my mouth!
–Downtown 5 Train
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
20-something boyfriend to girlfriend: First I let you put a dildo up my ass, and then you call me a faggot!
–2nd Ave & St. Mark's
Overheard by: Joe
Gay man: Oh. My. God. What kind of friend puts eels up your ass?
–52nd St & 9th Ave
20-something woman: Which of these trains goes to Exchange Place?
Cop: You gotta take this train to Pavonia, then transfer to one going to the World Trade Center, and that'll take you to Exchange Place.
20-something woman, after pause: Never mind. (exits station)
–PATH Train
Female cop: I'm not dealin' with you …
Man with dreadlocks: Go suck yo modas pussy!
Female cop: No, you go suck yo modas pussy!
–Bowery & 1st
Police officer: I thought you were in the Marines now.
Marine: Yeah, I ship out next week.
Police officer: I dream about having a job where I help people…
–Bagel Shop, Queens
Overheard by: Traczie
Little boy, pointing at NYPD helicopter: Daddy ! What's that?
Dad: That's a ghetto bird. (then to friends) Normally it's native to neighborhoods with a lot of black people… Wonder what it's doing here?
–Citifield Stadium
Overheard by: Matt F.
Shirtless man, loudly: Hey man, don't say anything, the cops are right there.
(another shirtless man hurries away)
Cop, arriving: (snickers)
–Union Square
Girl, swatting at guy: Stupid, stupid! LAPD?
Guy: Ow! What did I say? What?
Girl: Why would the LAPD be in New York?
Guy: Oh.
–Five Points, Manhattan
Female Asian worker: Wow, so is it free then?
NYPD officer: Nah, it's nine dollars a head, babe. Ain't nothing free in New York, hun, when I come in here you don't give me no free fuckin coffee, do ya?
–Rainbow Cafe, Grand & Essex
Overheard by: mhopkins
