Man #1: Aw, man, that’s not right. She’s pregnant.
Man #2: All the better– that means you can bust right inside her.
–Boardwalk, Coney Island
Overheard by: Lauren
Man #1: Aw, man, that’s not right. She’s pregnant.
Man #2: All the better– that means you can bust right inside her.
–Boardwalk, Coney Island
Overheard by: Lauren
Mother, to little boy: No, you cannot smell my armpit!
–Keyspan Park, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Jesse
Doctor on cell: Look, having knees doesn’t make you special.
–Oustide New York Presbyterian Hospital
Ghetto chick: When she’s asleep, I’m gonna squat on her brain.
–16th between 7th & 8th
Overheard by: alyssa
Father of little girl who has just hit her head: Did your brain fall out?
–Chili’s, Staten Island
Overheard by: Ada and Andi
Chick: His teeth are really straight. But that’s because he was home-schooled.
–Baskin Robbins, 23rd & 8th
Guy: Every time a girl sees my teeth, she’s like, “Naaah.” I’m gonna get this whole shit redone, where they take them all out and replace the whole thing. It costs like $20,000…Only thing is you have to go two months without any teeth.
–29th St & 33rd Ave, Astoria
Middle-aged man, to college girl in skirt: Excuse me, miss, you have very nice legs. Have you ever thought about doing voice-overs?
–31st & 6th
Overheard by: plo
Teenage boy: Who wants to play guess which body part am I fidgeting?
–North Gannon & Bradley, Staten Island
Overheard by: Shamrocknroll
Dude in shorts: I love seeing how many people I can touch in the mornings.
–2 train at 72nd St
Overheard by: drendar
Guy #1: It’s never too early for public urination.
Guy #2: Didn’t you get a ticket for that once?
Guy #1: Yeah, but that was on the subway.
–11th & Ave A
Overheard by: luilya
Unitarian teen: Yeah, we’re here for a poverty conference.
Flamboyant MAC salesman: Wow! You guys are so cool! Are there any boys there?
Unitarian teen: Well, really just Keegan.
Flamboyant MAC salesman: Oh my god! Are you a boy? Oh my god, I’m so tripped out! I thought you were some hippy dippy chick or something!
–MAC, Soho
Overheard by: girl in MAC
Intern suit: So how do I get that pre-freshman to give me a handjob?
Girl: Do you realize that you’re graduating from college soon, and you’re asking me this?
–60th & Lex
Overheard by: grossed out
Guy #1 eating an ice cream cone: Look at these babes.
Guy #2 eating an ice cream cone: Look at these jugs.
Guy #1: Look at these bombs.
Guy #2: Holy shit! Russian Scuds!
Guy #1: Look at these torpedos!
Guy #2: Look at these fun bags!
Guy #1: Oh yeah! Oh yeah! What a babe!
Guy #2: Yeah, but her friend has to do something with that can.
–Broadway & 22nd
Overheard by: Eric Wenstrom
Guy #1: I couldn’t not buy it.
Guy #2: Yeah, I’m thinking about it too. It’s totally worth it.
Guy #1: I mean, there are two real porn stars in it. If it was just one, I could have passed it up.
Guy #2: Yeah, man. But for that price, you almost have to do it!
–4th Avenue between 11th & 12th
Overheard by: Corinne Hears-All
Guy: That seems like a weird match to me.
Girl: Well, I guess they have a lot in common.
Guy: Like what?
Girl: Like they both like to eat snot.
Guy: Huh? Like, snot snot?
Girl: Yeah.
Guy: They both like to eat snot?
Girl: Yes.
Guy: Wow…Well, good for them.
–Nederlander Theater, West 41st Street
Overheard by: Allyson H.
Dude: Are you suggesting MacGyver is my penis?
–F train
Overheard by: Giovanni Diaz
