Teen girl: Ooh, take a picture. Someone got stabbed here last night!
–Outside the W, Times Square
Overheard by: melissa
Asian tranny on cell: But we never smelt nothing cause we didn’t even know the body was there!
–51st & 9th
Teen girl: Ooh, take a picture. Someone got stabbed here last night!
–Outside the W, Times Square
Overheard by: melissa
Asian tranny on cell: But we never smelt nothing cause we didn’t even know the body was there!
–51st & 9th
Biker dude #1: I’m staying at that hotel, down by…93rd and 3rd.
Biker dude #2: Oh yeah?
Biker dude #1: Yeah, that’s where I tried to commit suicide.
Biker dude #2: What do you pay a week down there?
Biker dude #1: I got a good deal going with the guy down there.
–6th Ave & 14th St, Gowanus, Brooklyn
ER admitting doctor with infinite patience: It’s just sore gums, probably from flossing. No need to worry.
Baroness Munchaussen: But it could get infected, right? And I could die, right?
Doctor: Has anyone ever died from this in the history of mankind? Maybe. But you could also walk out of the hospital and be hit by a bus. You have a better chance of that happening.
Baroness: So you’re saying I could die from this, and I shouldn’t leave the hospital?
–St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital Emergency Room
Girl #1: The worst thing about when your favorite author dies is, you’re never going to get any new books from them.
Girl #2: Yeah!
–Strand, 12th & Broadway
Old lady on bench #1: When he was alive, no mail. Now that he’s dead, he gets mail every day!
Old lady on bench #2: Nobody cares til you’re dead.
–31st & Ditmars, Astoria
Overheard by: Cathy Albright
A little girl is climbing onto an outdoor table, reaching for an ashtray.
Mom: No honey, don’t touch that.
Dad: Yeah, that’s what killed grandma.
–Soda Bar, Brooklyn
Overheard by: this guy
Man whispering into cell phone: I heard that if you inject enough [mumblemumble]into his bloodstream, in a couple of hours, the coroner can’t tell the cause of death!
…Uh huh, uh huh
…I know, baby, I know.
…Yeah, I know. But baby, will you be my alibi?
–F train
Overheard by: catherinecanfly
Toddler girl #1: Is your camel dead yet?
Toddler girl #2: No. Not yet. Is yours?
–John Jay Park
Old man: [hiccups] Old lady: I’ll kill you, dead!
–St. Mark’s Place
Overheard by: Raychel Tumin
Guy: The Bodies thing? Don’t they have dead babies there?
Girl: Hey, dead babies are the best type of babies.
–Diner at 38th & 5th
Overheard by: Jdub
