Tourist woman #1: Well, where should we go to eat instead?
Tourist woman #2: I hear that Ray’s Pizza is suppose to be excellent!
–W 54th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Levram
Tourist woman #1: Well, where should we go to eat instead?
Tourist woman #2: I hear that Ray’s Pizza is suppose to be excellent!
–W 54th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Levram
Boyfriend: You know what I really want to be?
Girlfriend: What, sweetie?
Boyfriend: A crazy old man! The kind with a shotgun that threatens to shoot at kids and steals stuff and never wears his dentures!
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Me too!
Suit #1: Hippos are freaky! All them teeth, and how they can go under the water… Hell, that’s scary!
Suit #2: No! Rhinos are what you should be scared of. Rhinos will fuck you up. Man, rhinos are crazy!
–2 Train
Overheard by: Anna
Girl: Well, I didn’t shave my armpits this morning.
Guy: Oh.
Girl: Yeah, that was my idea of celebrating!
–12th St & Broadway
Five-year-old son: I’m mad at you.
Mom: Why honey?
Five-year-old son: Because you wouldn’t buy me an umbrella!
Mom: You never asked for one!
–Times Square Shuttle
Overheard by: Heather
Hipster #1: Yeah, my 500-pound lesbian aunt went to Woodstock when she was 16. She still lives there.
Hipster #2: God, I wish I had been at Woodstock when I was 16.
Hipster #3: I wish I was a 500-pound lesbian in Woodstock.
–N 6th St, Williamsburg
Dude #1: Today, I saw someone wearing jeans that were like, way too tight.
Asian chick: Skinny jeans? I love skinny jeans!
Dude #1: On a guy? These were on a guy!
Asian chick: Oh, then… no.
Dude #1: Guys shouldn’t wear their jeans that tight. It’s bad for the balls.
Dude #2: It’s seriously bad for the balls. It’s unhealthy.
Asian chick (skeptically): Nuh-uh.
Dude #2: You wouldn’t know!
Dude #1: You don’t even have balls!
Asian chick: No. (considers) But if I did, I’d play with them all the time.
–NYU Elevator
Overheard by: Hannah
Girl #1: So both the girls took off their panties and spread their cheeks for the crowd. And you would not believe it, but the one girl started eating the other one’s ass!
Girl #2: Nothing says “goodnight” like a good ass licking.
–Vespa, Upper East Side
Overheard by: Steve
