Elderly shopkeeper in the pouring rain: Hey! Hey, amigo! When you go home, don’t take shower. You save money on bills.
–Morgan & Flushing, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Erin Partridge
Elderly shopkeeper in the pouring rain: Hey! Hey, amigo! When you go home, don’t take shower. You save money on bills.
–Morgan & Flushing, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Erin Partridge
Man: How’s this?
Woman: Like that, but way more sequins. It’s got to catch the eye!
–Kohl’s, Bay Parkway, Brooklyn
Guy, after passing a lingerie boutique: Oh, and by the way, that underwear store is bad luck! Every girlfriend I’ve bought something for from there dumped me the next day!
Friend: Yeah, man, it’s like a big steaming pile of bad luck.
–Thompson St, Soho
Overheard by: You have bad taste
Girl: What about that cab?
Guy: We can’t get that one. It’s going to Penn Central.
–14th & University
Overheard by: Logan
Boy #1: And I will milkshake all over your back.
Boy #2: And I will rub my lovely lady lumps all over your face.
–6 train
Overheard by: Alisha J.
Professor #1, reading from card: There is a chair available for your monologues. Do not stand on the chair. Do not throw the chair.
Applicants and parents: [Laugh.]Professor #1: Do not disrobe.
Applicants and parents: [Laugh harder.]Professor #2: You laugh, but they’re on that card for a reason.
–NYU
Overheard by: ZB
Girl #1: Why does she seem so nasty and stressed all the time?
Girl #2: Well, I think it’s because she’s a lesbian by default.
Girl #1: A what?
Girl #2: A lesbian by default. She’s such a bitch that guys don’t want anything to do with her.
–Manhattan Lounge
Overheard by: fpod
Chick: Um, Mo, I never thought I’d ask you this, but… does this shirt make me look like a lesbian?
Lesbian, laughing: Oh my God, no! Just make sure nobody thinks we’re together…
–192nd St & Broadway
Overheard by: Curly girl
Wannabe thug paging through a Playboy, to another: Yo, check that shit out! Those are seven hundred bucks a pair. They got diamonds and crystals and shit in them!
–A train, W 4th St
Wife: So, I’m allergic to cats.
Husband: And I’m allergic to dogs.
Wife: So there was no choice, really.
Old guy: But aren’t ferrets illegal here?
Husband: If the city can let those damn marsupial-sized rats run around the tracks, then I sure as hell can have a ferret!
Wife: Besides, do you have any idea how fun it is trying to smuggle a smelly, squeaking animal out of an apartment right past the chain-smoking landlord? Getting the damn thing to the vet is even funner!
–Penn Station
