Ghetto chick #1: We was doin’ trigonometry.
Ghetto chick #2: Trigonometry…like slopes n’ shit?
–9th Street PATH station
Overheard by: Melissa M.
Ghetto chick #1: We was doin’ trigonometry.
Ghetto chick #2: Trigonometry…like slopes n’ shit?
–9th Street PATH station
Overheard by: Melissa M.
Very enthusiastic female undergrad: And there were a bunch of questions on the test about sadomasochism, and I was like, “yes! I know everything!”
–Hunter College
Overheard by: And I'm Paying How Much in Tuition?
Female law student #1: So we get Hannukah off then?
Female law student #2: Well, duh! Fordham’s a Jesuit school.
–Fordham Law School
Overheard by: Jamie L
Cop: Man, I'm computer illiterate… That's why the NYPD is perfect for me.
–Police Precinct, Bronx
Overheard by: afrocurl
Cop car to man in the street, after using sirens: How stupid are you? Move out of the way!
(crowd cheers)
–Thompson & Bleecker
Overheard by: onlycoolcop
Loudspeaker on police car to pedestrian: What are you doing!?
–Houston & Broadway
Woman with missing teeth, grabbing tourist and yelling: I'm not a cop! I'm a ho!
–42nd & 8th
Overheard by: Jo Ann Chism
Girl: If you were sleeping and your girlfriend woke you up in the middle of the night because she wants to…you know. Would you be upset?
Guy: Is it a school night?
–East Village
Sociology professor: So, what would you like to learn about this semester?
Student: The legalization of marijuana.
Sociology professor: Okay… [Draws pot leaf on blackboard.] Hm, I’m not much of an artist… Plus, I’m high. Ha, no, I’m just kidding.
–Fordham University, Rose Hill
Overheard by: Soapnana
Suit #1: How do you say S-H-I-I-T-E?
Suit #2: Shee-ite.
Suit #1: God, I’ve been saying S-H-I-T all this time.
–F train
Teacher: You had six, one of them quit, you now have four… Wait!
–Brooklyn Tech
Overheard by: Liz
Woman to friends: It’s true! Crack babies just aren’t very good at math.
–W Houston St.
Overheard by: Emily T.
Disgruntled woman on cell: We are not splitting this in half — I want 70-40!
–Broadway & Exchange
Enthusiastic conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, the last car is not the only car on this train. If you spread out, you get on the train faster, we get moving faster, and you won’t be able to complain that MTA trains never run on time. It’s simple mathematics, ladies and gentlemen. Get up on it.
–A train
Overheard by: mildly entertained
Metrosexual guy: If I was some fish…
Girl, not looking up from her bus schedule: Grammar just cried.
Metrosexual guy: I don’t follow you.
Girl: Good, because if you did, I would have to have you arrested.
Metrosexual guy: I am so confused.
Girl: Do the words ‘you are an idiot’ confuse you?
Metrosexual guy: I hate you.
–28th & 5th
Young Man #1: No, no no no!
Young Man #2: You’re wrong and they’re wrong.
Young Man #1: Naw, man, look-
Young Man #2: You are WRONG and they are WRONG.
Young Man #1: They can’t, it’s not like-
Young Man #2: A psychiatrist is a DOCTOR, man.
Young Man #1: So is a massage therapist!
–39th & 12th
Overheard by: Keri
