Hipster girl after huge black guy sneezes: Bless you.
Huge black guy: You don’t know me!
–Shuttle to Times Square
Overheard by: Suburban Liz
Hipster girl after huge black guy sneezes: Bless you.
Huge black guy: You don’t know me!
–Shuttle to Times Square
Overheard by: Suburban Liz
Suit lugging huge rolling suitcase to hobo taking up two seats on train: Pardon me.
Hobo (sliding over, looking at huge suitcase): What do you have there, a dog or something?
Suit (with deadpan look on his face, stroking suitcase fondly): I used to. (sighs)
(hobo slowly inches away)
–L Train
Overheard by: Cai
Drunk Long Island girl #1: I am so wasted and I haven’t even thrown up yet!
Drunk Long Island girl #2: It’s like, we’re drunk and we’re from Long Island. We should be all… proper and shit.
–29th & 7th
Overheard by: 100% not drunk
Chick: The waiter said I couldn’t sit on his lap. Then he said not only couldn’t I sit on his lap, that the people next to us complained that I was sitting on his lap! That’s the stupidest thing I ever heard in my life, that you can’t sit on someone’s lap in a restaurant. And to blame the people next to us, who were lovely?
–Our Place, 3rd Avenue
Girl on cell: So, you know, I was just lying there, like with my face to the wall and stuff and he just whips out his dick and starts hitting me in the back of the head with it.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Zac Stone
Black lady #1: I’m still waiting for that African guy to get back.
Black lady #2: You mean the guy with the crazy kids running all around? Those kids were wild.
Black lady #1: Well you know those people, they aren’t used to being indoors.
Black lady #2: Yeah they used to running all around in the jungle.
–Central Post Office, 8th Avenue
Overheard by: Baby Bee
Guy: Seriously, you have to be the most wonderful person in the world to do something like that.
Girl: Yeah, but it’s still a felony!
–Morningside Heights
Overheard by: Julia Kite
A crazy guy is pulling on a hipster’s sleeve, jabbering at him.
Hipster guy: You know, that’s very Nietzsche, by the way.
–3rd Avenue between 5th & 6th
Hobo: When I point, everybody smell collard greens.
–6 train
Dude #1: Easy, Big Poppa, you’re stepping on my shoes.
Dude #2: Sorry, it’s a little crowded in here.
Dude #1: I can tell.
Dude #2: But I love it when you call me Big Poppa.
Dude #1: Seriously, get off my shoes.
— train
