Male NYU student #1: Like a deer caught in the headlights–he just wanted to have sex.
Male NYU student #2: I love the Olive Garden, though.
–Waverly & Greene
Male NYU student #1: Like a deer caught in the headlights–he just wanted to have sex.
Male NYU student #2: I love the Olive Garden, though.
–Waverly & Greene
Black guy: I ain’t saying I love her, but I got feelings for the bitch.
–82nd & 2nd
Overheard by: Rick Segall
Fratboy: Fuck the afterlife. I want my 72 virgins now.
–111th & Broadway
Overheard by: Djlindee
Shoplady on phone: Oh, so did she tell you about her sex? Well, she told me…I mean, she’s ugly but it’s good to know even ugly people can have good imaginary sex.
–Barbara Feinman Millinery, St. Mark’s Place
Overheard by: Sarah C
Jamaican lady: We don’t fuck for enjoyment, we fuck for love.
–Washington Heights
Guy on cell: You had sex with my sister!…Well was she any good?…Where the hell did she learn that nifty trick?
–Times Square
Guy: Oh, you should come by the soup kitchen I run. There are no homeless people. Only real estate people. I used to go…I would go on Wednesday (snaps fingers) and I’d have a date for Saturday.
–Union Squre theatre
Suit: Marriage is so fucking out in banking right now. I was engaged for a while, just because I wanted to plant my seed, you know. But that didn’t work out.
–Wall Street
Overheard by: Black Red Yellow NYC
Fratboy #1: Can she bring some of her friends?
Fratboy #2: You don’t want to meet her friends.
Fratboy #1: Why?
Fratboy #2: I don’t know, they’re…
Fratboy #1: They’re fat, right?
Fratboy #2: Yeah.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Josh Caldwell
Frat guy #1: I’m totally into gay guys right now.
Frat guy #2: You’re into gay guys?
Frat guy #1: No, man, not like that. Like, I really respect gay guys right now.
Frat guy #2: Why?
Frat guy #1: I just really think it’s cool how they do what they do.
–Barnes and Noble
Overheard by: Molly
Cafeteria lady: So, you been good this weekend?
Frat boy: No! Me and my girlfriend got totally shit-faced!
Cafeteria lady: ‘My girlfriend and I.’
Frat boy: What?
Cafeteria lady: ‘My girlfriend and I got totally shit-faced.’
Frat boy: Whoa! You have a girlfriend?! Hardcore!
–NYU
Overheard by: behind them in line.
Columbia guy: So why haven't you had sex with him yet?
Columbia girl: Well, he wants our first time to be special, but that's the last thing I want in sex! I mean, it's gonna be awkward anyway, so we might as well get it over with!
–1 Train
Frat guy #1: If there are no rules at this place, could I go have sex with that hostess?
Frat guy #2: Dude, I think that would be rape.
–Outback Steakhouse, 23rd & 6th
Girl on cell: Five hours later, I was still pulling cum out of my hair!
–13th St
Overheard by: questioning the physics
Drunk girl to drunk guy: I would love to be 5'8", I mean…it's like not tall…but like not short. (four minutes later, screaming) Yeah…like…too much thought is like…bad for you! (later) They should've jerked you off in your sock!
–84th & Amsterdam Ave
One of four middle aged men on a bench: Well, the key is to never swallow the cum, spit the cum out.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Dan
High voiced hobo to teenager: I want you to cum on my face.
–72nd St & Broadway
20-something girl on cell: Oh, you can't carry the microscope with you? Well, if you come here we'll have to forgo the sperm. If I come to visit you, then we can work it into the schedule.
–Ess-A-Bagel
Overheard by: Emma
NYU dude: How do you get cock-blocked while you're jizzing?!
–St. Mark's Place & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: IWasWonderingThatToo
Student, slamming reproductive biology book shut: Sperm! It's everywhere!
–Bobst Library
Overheard by: ttny
Barbershop quarter guy: Hey, she’s walking on the outside. That means she’s available. Tell that guy you’re with that walking on the outside means you’re available.
Guy: Um, she’s my sister.
–Spring & Wooster
Russian guy: You should introduce me to your sister.
Frat guy: Hell no, man.
Russian guy: I would introduce you to my sister.
Frat guy: Dude, what do you do in your country? Meet in neutral territory and swap family members?
–23rd & 10th
Overheard by: Mariclair Partee
Frat boy #1: Dude! Your sister is hot!
Frat boy #2: I know, dude…so is my mom.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Bone Cermark
