Girl on cell: Just stay out of the sun and keep your clam shut. Okay, bye.
Friend: Did you just tell her to keep her clam shut?
–Manhattan College
Overheard by: Greg
Girl on cell: Just stay out of the sun and keep your clam shut. Okay, bye.
Friend: Did you just tell her to keep her clam shut?
–Manhattan College
Overheard by: Greg
Petulant child: Speed walking is boring! I want to be myself!
–1st Ave & 5th St
Awkward teen boy to friend: It was really boring until I got laid.
–66th & Broadway
Chick on cell: How is pantylessness ever boring?
–113th b/w Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
Young art history teacher: So basically, I like to lecture the whole first class and bore the hell out of them. That way, everything I say afterwards is interesting!
–74th & Madison
Overheard by: Erin Partridge
Short girl to lab partner: Sometimes, when I’m bored, I become a tuning fork. (slowly hits herself on the head) Diiiing!
–Chemistry Lab, Stuyvesant High School
Creepy-looking, middle aged goth guy, yelling: He dances with the denizens of the underworld! [Turns to his female companion.] What was his webpage again?
–7th b/w 1st & 2nd
Goth chick: Yea, my mom cried while my dad chased me around with sandpaper.
–Pratt Campus
Overheard by: Late-Night Passerby
Goth girl to friend: I can’t wait until you’re addicted to sex.
–Queens
Goth girl talking loudly to goth friend: It just sucks that everyone is such a toolbag. Like everyone. That guy right there. Toolbag. You. Toolbag. Everyone is just a toolbag. Like seven out of ten people are just tools.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Quippy Pasqual
Annoyed goth chick to friend: …so it looks like I’m going to be whipping some yuppies in a dungeon again.
–Bedford Ave & 3rd
Overheard by: yuppie45
Dude #1: Yo son, that girl last week, Anna, she is all kinds of freaky.
Dude #2: Weird, that’s what I heard.
Dude #1: Yeah man, she wanted me to do her from behind with the lights on and shit.
Dude #2: Nigga, that shit ain’t freaky.
Dude #1: Yo, with the lights on and a dildo in her mouth.
Dude #2: Wait… Which Anna you talking ’bout, my cousin?
–A Train
Overheard by: nuttybella
Young woman #1: Oh, so that guy I slept with the other week? He’s my friend on Facebook now. Did you see him?
Young woman #2: Is he the bald guy?
Young woman #1: No, he has dark hair. His profile picture is him kissing his wife at their wedding.
Young woman #2: He’s married?
Young woman #1: Yeah, I guess so.
–Starbucks, 19th & 8th
Overheard by: My husband is not on Facebook.
Dude #1: It’d be like you saying: “I’m gonna root for the Raiders, instead of the Chargers.”
Dude #2: It’d be like you saying: “I’m gonna suck cock!”
–11th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Hannah
Kid #1, sharing iPod with kid #2: Hey, it’s the CSI song!
Kid #2: (laughs) Yeah.
Kid #1: It’s like we’re secret agents!
Kid #2: (laughs) No.
Kid #1: Yeah! It is.
Kid #2: No… It’s like, we’re stoners on the subway listening to The Who.
–F Train
NYU girl #1: There is hair everywhere in my life.
NYU girl #2: Really?
NYU girl #1: It’s literally in everything I eat.
–NYU Dorm
Straight guy #1: Dude, I like your family, but there is no way that I would blow the whole football team to save their lives.
Straight guy #2: Well, I’d blow them for your family.
Straight guy #1: Even if it was right after a game?
Straight guy #2: If I have to blow 60 guys, you think I’d give a shit if they are sweaty or not? That’s the least of it.
–In line at Just Salad, E 51st
Girl #1: Whenever I come here I wanna buy stuff.
Girl #2: Me too!
Girl #1: It’s really bad.
Girl #2: It’s so bad.
–Sephora, Union Square
Overheard by: MKB
