Guy: I’m the only guy here.
Girl #1: But Moses will be here soon. Wait, that won’t change things.
Girl #2: Yeah, he’s more like half a guy.
Guy: Half a gay guy.
–Manhattan bound F train
Overheard by: Julz
Guy: I’m the only guy here.
Girl #1: But Moses will be here soon. Wait, that won’t change things.
Girl #2: Yeah, he’s more like half a guy.
Guy: Half a gay guy.
–Manhattan bound F train
Overheard by: Julz
20-ish girl: Jack is going to Vegas for a bachelor party Friday. Should I be worried? What really happens at those things, anyway?
30-ish guy: It depends. The last one I went to was pretty low-key, but I’ve been to plenty of crazy bachelor weekends with strippers and a double-ended dildo.
20-ish girl: That’s it?! I’ve been to tons of parties with strippers and dildos. That’s not that crazy.
30-ish guy: When’s Jack back?
20-ish girl: Sunday.
30-ish guy: I think I might have a party Saturday.
–Union Square
Friend: Where's that pizza from?
Stroller dad: Tony's*.
Friend: Oh, Tony's*.
Stroller dad: Yeah. We named our rabbit Tony*.
Friend: Because it poops all the time?
Stroller dad: Yeah.
–Bar, Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn
Businessguy: …and then she said, “Let’s meet up in Barcelona next weekend.” Like that’s close!
Businesswoman: You have bonus miles though, don’t you? Plus, you need a vacation anyway, so why not?
Businessman: I’d rather have her come visit me on American soil, like we could go to Montreal for the Grand Prix maybe…
–70th & Lex
Large bald man on Bluetooth: He got a fuckin' boo boo, that's all!
–Gramercy
Suit on cell: So, I haven't been electrocuted…yet.
–L Train
Elderly woman: I regret that she broke her arm. I do not regret pushing her down the stairs.
–E Train
Overheard by: Pat
Little boy: I hope the boo-boo goes away soon! My staple won't hold that long!
–23rd & Park Ave
Overheard by: Say what?
Guy on train to friend: Hey, would you still date a girl if she was in an industrial accident and had to wear a Darth Vader suit forever?
–6 Train
Man to friend: I don't know what made him think he could outrun an alligator!
–Sheridan Square
Overheard by: Lory
Father to young son: Holy shit, Joey, look at the turtles! They're stackin' and rackin' 'em!
–Central Park Zoo
Mom to kid, pointing to seal exhibit: Look! Otters!
–Central Park Zoo
Overheard by: Rebecca
Young man, joyfully throwing his arms in the air: Then all of the lemmings go off of the cliff!
–The Village
Overheard by: Aaron
Chick: So “scatological”; that’s like, what? Like from “scattered”?
Guy: No, you know, it’s like in “scat porn”.
–China Fun, 64th & 2nd
Elderly janitor, watching pierced teenagers get in line: I'm gonna fart on one of these people.
–Broadway & Houston
Angry man on cell: They think they're so perfect, but I bet they piss and burp and fart like the rest of us.
–80th St & 34th Ave
Hobo: Can you spare some change? I need to buy some new underwear, I farted and shat in these.
–83rd St & Broadway
Overheard by: new girl in town
Tiny brunette: Have you ever had to pee so bad, and suddenly you fart and then you don't have to pee that badly anymore?
–7 Train
Young woman to friend: Yeah, and then she started fartin' a bunch. But she was farting out of her pussy. And Ashley got pissed, cause then, she started makin' a beat out of it.
–125th St & Lexington
Overheard by: Stephen
College woman: Did I tell you? I got my lip gloss today!
Friend: Oooooh, from where?
College woman: Dubai.
–Barnard College
Overheard by: graduating soon….
Woman: Did you hear about those recalled toys with the drugs in them?
Guy: Yeah, they had ecstasy in ’em!
Woman: No, they had the date rape drug.
Guy: Isn’t ecstasy the date rape drug?
Woman: No…
Guy: I haven’t dated in a while.
–Starbucks, 45th St
Overheard by: Cait
