8-year-old boy to friend: You can't stop me, I'm the Indian man! You can't stop me, I'm the gingerbread man! You can't stop me, I'm the Jewish man!
Friend: You can't stop me, I'm the Indian man!
8-year-old boy: All the single ladies! All the single ladies! If you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it!
Friend: You can't stop me, I'm the Indian man!
8-year-old boy: Stop with the Indian thing!
–McDonald's
Overheard by: Brittany
Guy to friend: Oowee! Some weed and a perm! That's my perfect New York day.
–West Village
Overheard by: Joe
Conductor: Step in, stand clear…let's go New York!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Ashley Nelson
Intoxicated creepster: Are we in Manhattan? What the hell! This city is so full of New Yorkers!
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Lizzzzz
Bitter man on subway: I think one summer here would cure them of any love they have for this town.
–1 Train
Passerby to surprised-looking wife, watching fight: They're fighting. It's New York, that's what people do in this city.
–City Hall
Overheard by: ascorbique & almost famous
Grinning paramedic to female tourist in shock, strapping her to backboard after she was struck by a car: Welcome to New York!
–34th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Mateo que Feo
Adult friend: Your mommy just had a baby! How is Jack* doing? Does he have a lot of bottles?
Little girl: No, just boobies.
–Economy Candy, Lower East Side
Guy #1: I think I’m done dating girls that people have heard of.
Guy #2: Duuude.
–Barnes & Noble
Father-to-be: So my wife won't give me head no more.
Friend: Why? Just cuz she's pregnant?
Father-to-be: Yeah. She keeps saying anything she eats the baby eats, and she don't want it eating my jizz.
–N Train
Overheard by: bill
Columbia student: And I might get a job at Scotland Yard.
Friend: I don't know what that is. I just moved here a few months ago.
–Uptown 1 Train
Guy: I’m the only guy here.
Girl #1: But Moses will be here soon. Wait, that won’t change things.
Girl #2: Yeah, he’s more like half a guy.
Guy: Half a gay guy.
–Manhattan bound F train
Overheard by: Julz
20-ish girl: Jack is going to Vegas for a bachelor party Friday. Should I be worried? What really happens at those things, anyway?
30-ish guy: It depends. The last one I went to was pretty low-key, but I’ve been to plenty of crazy bachelor weekends with strippers and a double-ended dildo.
20-ish girl: That’s it?! I’ve been to tons of parties with strippers and dildos. That’s not that crazy.
30-ish guy: When’s Jack back?
20-ish girl: Sunday.
30-ish guy: I think I might have a party Saturday.
–Union Square
Friend: Where's that pizza from?
Stroller dad: Tony's*.
Friend: Oh, Tony's*.
Stroller dad: Yeah. We named our rabbit Tony*.
Friend: Because it poops all the time?
Stroller dad: Yeah.
–Bar, Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn
Businessguy: …and then she said, “Let’s meet up in Barcelona next weekend.” Like that’s close!
Businesswoman: You have bonus miles though, don’t you? Plus, you need a vacation anyway, so why not?
Businessman: I’d rather have her come visit me on American soil, like we could go to Montreal for the Grand Prix maybe…
–70th & Lex
