Girl: Is that that guy's blood on your shoe?
Friend: Oh, no! That's actually chocolate ice cream from Mister Softee… Mmmm Mister Softee.
Girl: Oh, nice!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Maria
Girl: Is that that guy's blood on your shoe?
Friend: Oh, no! That's actually chocolate ice cream from Mister Softee… Mmmm Mister Softee.
Girl: Oh, nice!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Maria
Hobo to white guy walking with three black friends: What's up, slave owner?
–The Village
Girl on phone: We should practice selling ourselves to each other.
–Subway Sandwiches, 38th & 7th
Crazy man on train: America! America! Anybody wanna buy some white people?
–A Train
Ditzy girl to friend: So I had this black boyfriend one time, and we had to break up because he kept talking about slavery. I was all, hello, I'm Czech, my people were slaves too.
–Columbia University School of Social Work
Overheard by: Eric
Black toddler to mortified white nanny: Wanna play slave?
–Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn
Loud guy: Hey! Illegal drugs, anyone? Illegal drugs? I want to buy some illegal drugs!
–6th Ave & 34h St
Overheard by: Emily
College girl to friend: Remember that time when you slept with that drug trafficker?
–33rd & 3rd
Man in restaurant: After the roofies I took I was a total mess, it was amazing.
–23rd & 10th
Overheard by: Matt
Man to friend holding Diet Coke: Do you remember when they had this at that gay bathhouse I had to go to because my drug dealer was there?
–Duane Reade
Dude, about crowd: I'm so glad we dropped acid before coming here.
–Trader Joe's, Union Square
Overheard by: Kat
Loud girl on cell: She can't just call you up and like, reminisce and be like, "remember when we loved each other?" Oh, and I don't even want to talk about the conversation we had this morning. There's no excuse to do acid!
–Wagner College
Guy #1: I don’t even know what a crack pipe looks like!
Guy #2: It looks like a leprechaun flute.
–Michael’s Restaurant, Astoria
Overheard by: Jatmos
NYU chica: It’s like, I don’t really like my classes, and I don’t really like the city, but I really love–
NYU chico, simultaneously with chica: –Rollerblading.
–NYU Silver Center
Girl: I hate southern people.
Friend: How can you hate all southern people?
Girl: I just do. Some people hate black people, some people hate Jewish people, I hate Southern people.
Friend: Why?
Girl: They’re so prejudiced.
–N train
Overheard by: Mystified Brooklynite
Young lady: Stupid people have more fun!
–Chrystie & Housten
Overheard by: Probably True…
Middle age woman to young woman pushing stroller: Well, this is a stupid place for a stroller!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Would the street be safer?
Oversized hip-hop boyfriend to undersized girlfriend: I'm being stupid for your benefit.
–Duane Reade
Woman buying ibuprofen: It's not a virus. My mother's got a headache from everyone being stupid.
–Inwood
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Girl smoking on the sidewalk to smoking friend: He's perfect. Except that he's kind of dumb. But he's perfect!
–34th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Katface
Teen boy #1: Nah, nigga, she can’t be Spanish. She too skinny.
Teen boy #2: She’s Spanish, yo.
Teen boy #1: I tell you, she ain’t from Spain. She’s from Europe. She has a Euro-sounding name.
Teen boy #2: Maybe she’s Mexican.
Teen boy #1: Yeah, she could be Mexican.
–Tompkins Square Park
Overheard by: Heather
Chick #1: So, are you a bad boy?
Chick #2: Yeah, I’ll bet he rides motorcycles and has guns.
Dude: No, but I have killed a few people I didn’t like.
Chick #1, seriously: Don’t joke. I dated a guy who did that.
–1 train
Overheard by: Jay
Girl: I’m going to be speaking Spanish for a month, and I’m going to come back and be so good at it, but then I’ll have a month before classes start and I’ll forget all of it!
Boy: That’s because you smoke a lot of weed.
–6 train
Overheard by: Veronica
