Wednesday One-Liners Are So Not the Freshmaker

Bimbette: I don't think I've ever been that grossed out during the day. It all started when that woman smelled like pee…

–6 Train

Overheard by: j

Female suit: We were above an Indian restaurant and he was banging me from behind. I could smell the curry, and while he was banging me I was gagging.

–NJ Transit

Chick: You smell like vag and pizza.

–Borders

Girl to friend, after bending head down into her: Damn my puss stank.

–E Train

Overheard by: Nicole

College guy (screaming at friend): Dude! How are you even in college?! You smell like Oust! You smell like Tropical Glade!

–1 Train

Concerned hipster: I know you just orgasmed, but what's that smell?

–E 9th & 3rd

Overheard by: Peanut

Posted on April 17, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Backdoor, Bimbettes, Compare/Contrast, Ethnic Food, Ew, Jersey, Frat Boys, Friends, Girls, Hipsters, On the Subway, Orgasm, Pee, Pizza, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Store, Suits, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Weirdness, Women

Its Gravitational Pull Drives the Ladies Crazy

Pretty boy: You know, penis density is really an under-appreciated quality.
Fat friend: Yeah, I may have a one-and-a-half-inch dick, but it weighs 50 pounds!
Girlfriend to other chick: At least they aren’t talking about circle jerks anymore.

–35th & 9th

Overheard by: Brad

Posted on April 17, 2015
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Fat People, Friends, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Masturbation, Penis, Talking/Convos

Ta-Tas Prove Nothing in This Neighborhood, Mon Ami

Foreign girl #1 to lesbian entering ladies' room: I'm sorry, this is a ladies' room.
Lesbian: I'm a woman.
Foreign girl #1: Oh my god, I'm so sorry! That's the worst thing I've ever done!
Foreign girl #2, coming out of stall: Wait, no. You're so not a woman!
Lesbian: You wanna see the ta-tas?

–Sidewalk Bar, 6th & Ave A

Posted on April 17, 2015
Alphabet City, Apologies, Bars & Clubs, Foreigners, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Girls, Lesbians, Offers and requests, Rack, Sexuality

Just to Give You the Flavor of My Life

Sweatpants: So, how’s your life doing?
Girl: Um, okay, I guess.
Sweatpants: That’s good… So I was watching Pokemon the other day…

–Mars Bar

Overheard by: Anna Wolinsky

Posted on April 17, 2015
Barbers and hairdressers, Dorks, Geeks and Nerds, Girls, Idiots, Stupidity, TV

Wednesday One-Liner Cheney

NYU frat boy to another: Remember that time you popped that zit on my dick?!

–Waverly Place & Broadway

Overheard by: lezbotron

Older suit to younger suit: If you want people to move out of your way you just gotta say shit like: pussy, dick, cunt! (people move out of the way) See?

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: Brad

Thug to another, exiting a deli: The Salvation Army can suck my dick.

–Stanton & Ludlow

Overheard by: CN

Girl wearing hijab: That depends on whose dick it is!

–Hunter College, 68th & Lexington

Overheard by: off white

Posted on April 16, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, BJs, Brooklyn, Delis, Frat Boys, Girls, Hunter, Insults, Lower East Side, One-liners, Penis, Physical appearance, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Street, Suits, The Village, Thugs, Upper East Side, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Men’s Intuition, I Suppose

Teenage boy: I just realized I have not gotten laid, thus far in life.
Girl: When’d you come up with that?

–E 18th St & Ave J

Posted on April 16, 2015
Boys, Default, Girls, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Questions, Stupidity, Teens, Virginity

Your Boyfriend Lives in Queens and You Own.

Drunk black girl #1, hearing Hispanic dance song: I live in the Bronx. I hear this shit every day.
Drunk black girl #2: You live in Brooklyn.
Drunk black girl #1: My boyfriend lives in the Bronx and my rent is due.

–New Year's Eve Party, Spanish Harlem

Overheard by: Patrick

Posted on April 15, 2015
Black People, Drunks, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Money & Class, Relationships, Singing

Any Weirder Than Buying a Dildo Off of eBay?

Chick #1: So, when I went back to take a picture of the dildo on the fence post, it was gone? Who the fuck takes a dildo off a fence post?
Chick #2: Um, who puts a dildo on a fence post?
Chick #1: Well, that part kind of makes sense. But why take a dildo that’s been outside?
Chick #2: Maybe they were desperate?

–10th & 5th

Posted on April 15, 2015
Dildos and Vibrators, Girls, The Village

How Many Weight Watchers Points Are in a Wednesday One-Liner?

NYU JAP on phone to mother (enraged): Ugh, mom! No! Wearing seasonally inappropriate outerwear will not make me sweat and lose weight!

–NYU Silver Center

Overheard by: Maeve

Woman in line with friend at Duane Reade, reading can of energy drink: Wait. There's carbs in here? Like bread carbs? Carbs are bread, right? Cause when people go on, like, a low carb diet, they don't eat any bread, right? But I still don't understand why there's bread in here. Whatever. It doesn't even taste like bread.

–Duane Reade

10-year-old kid to friend: So you're a year older than me, but you're 20 pounds lighter? That's fucked up.

–Christopher St & Waverly Place

Overheard by: sharknife

Girl: You know how some people are social drinkers? I'm a social eater.

–NYU

Overheard by: ninja z

Asian fashionista: Yeah, I think I'm like a size 12 in boys.

–Conde Nast Building

Overheard by: jackattack

Loud guy on cell: Actually, I can't be bulimic anymore because I have no gag reflex. I've been sucking too much cock.

–34th & 7th Ave