Drunk black girl #1, hearing Hispanic dance song: I live in the Bronx. I hear this shit every day.
Drunk black girl #2: You live in Brooklyn.
Drunk black girl #1: My boyfriend lives in the Bronx and my rent is due.
–New Year's Eve Party, Spanish Harlem
Overheard by: Patrick
Chick #1: So, when I went back to take a picture of the dildo on the fence post, it was gone? Who the fuck takes a dildo off a fence post?
Chick #2: Um, who puts a dildo on a fence post?
Chick #1: Well, that part kind of makes sense. But why take a dildo that’s been outside?
Chick #2: Maybe they were desperate?
–10th & 5th
NYU JAP on phone to mother (enraged): Ugh, mom! No! Wearing seasonally inappropriate outerwear will not make me sweat and lose weight!
–NYU Silver Center
Overheard by: Maeve
Woman in line with friend at Duane Reade, reading can of energy drink: Wait. There's carbs in here? Like bread carbs? Carbs are bread, right? Cause when people go on, like, a low carb diet, they don't eat any bread, right? But I still don't understand why there's bread in here. Whatever. It doesn't even taste like bread.
–Duane Reade
10-year-old kid to friend: So you're a year older than me, but you're 20 pounds lighter? That's fucked up.
–Christopher St & Waverly Place
Overheard by: sharknife
Girl: You know how some people are social drinkers? I'm a social eater.
–NYU
Overheard by: ninja z
Asian fashionista: Yeah, I think I'm like a size 12 in boys.
–Conde Nast Building
Overheard by: jackattack
Loud guy on cell: Actually, I can't be bulimic anymore because I have no gag reflex. I've been sucking too much cock.
–34th & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Alis
Girl #1: He told her she was too fat?
Girl #2: Yeah, he broke up with her.
Girl #1: That's terrible!
Girl #2: Well, she did get kind of fat.
–Nail Salon, 18th & 5th
Overheard by: Rachel
Worker: … Just stick it in your pocket. I mean, seven inches isn’t bad.
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: EthanK
Guy: So I tried to set my password to "Penis".
Girl: […]Guy: It said my password wasn’t long enough.
–66th & Broadway
College kid to girlfriend: You make me feel sometimes like ten inches isn’t enough.
–12th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Strand Customer
Asian girl on cell: It’s six inches. [Laughs.] Wait… What’s six inches?
–CUNY Queensborough
Drunk guy pissing against wall, on cell: I got my dick out at 14th street! Yeah, it’s 14 inches!
–Union Square
Girl #1: Hey, what's up?
Girl #2: I'm gonna kick you in the throat.
Girl: Okay…
–B9
British white guy with dreads: Where are we?
Girl: 34th Street.
British white guy with dreads: 34th Street? Isn't that where that miracle happened?
–34th St
Overheard by: GV
Gay guy: You know, this one culture worships this cut-out in the grass of this man with a giant penis.
Girl: I'd worship that.
–6th & Waverly
Overheard by: I worship it, too
Girl #1: So, I had tofu the other day.
Girl #2: What’s tofu?
Girl #1: That stuff that looks like cheese but isn’t.
Girl #2: What does it taste like?
Girl #1: It kinda tastes like meat and spaghetti… but there’s no meat in it.
Girl #2: Then how the hell does it taste like meat?
Girl #1: I dunno. Maybe there is meat in it after all.
Girl #2: True, true.
–Hunter College
Overheard by: That’s news to me
Loud girl to friend: Tell them you want fuckable hair! Fuckable hair!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
Girl to friend: You mean her boob-look hair puff?
–52nd St & 6th Ave
Ghetto woman to another: Why he be mooning everyone with that hairy ass?
–53rd & Lexington
Overheard by: tommy a
Man to friend: I'm Mexican, man; I was *born* with a mustache.
–Grand & Orchard
Girl, enunciatively: I support chest hair!
–Hell's Kitchen
Overheard by: DI
