Girl #1: You won't believe this. He was in the shower.
Girl #2: So?
Girl #1: He wasn't wearing a hat.
Girl #2: Oh my god!
–High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Girl #1: You won't believe this. He was in the shower.
Girl #2: So?
Girl #1: He wasn't wearing a hat.
Girl #2: Oh my god!
–High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Professor: Fat people are often funny.
–Baruch College
Girl to friend: When she OD'ed on him, it was so funny!
–Riverdale
Overheard by: Caitlin
Ditzy-looking middle aged woman on cell: The funniest thing today with the kids! They slammed me to the door and one of them bit my arm and I drew blood! (pauses) Yeah, I know, I'm going back tomorrow!
–F Train
Girl: So, like my friend thought it would be funny to jump in a pool that didn't have water in it.
–8th St & Broadway
Brooklyn artist: After four or five organic vodka tonics, all the ironic hairstyles in the bar start to actually be funny.
–Williamsburg
Teen girl: You know what I don’t get?
Preppy friend: What?
Teen girl: If Mary was a virgin, how did she get pregnant?
Preppy friend: Uh…I think a white dove came down and landed on her.
Teen girl: … And where did it land?
Preppy friend: On her shoulder.
Teen girl: So a dove–
Preppy friend: A white dove. Impregnated mary on her shoulder. Yeah.
Teen girl: Who told you that?
Preppy friend: Sara, in Geometry.
Teen girl: … Sara is Jewish, you idiot!
–McDonald’s, Park Ave
Chick #1: She would do something like that with her crazy ass!
Chick #2: It’s her pussy that’s crazy!
[Much laughter.]Chick #1: Ass, pussy, she don’t care! Everybody gets a piece!
–15th & 5th Ave
Cabbie: Are you going this way? I’m not turning around!
Chick: What the..? I’m not hitchhiking, I’m fucking paying you, and if I tell you to turn around you damn well better turn around!
He drives away.
Chick: Yeah, fuck you too, cunty Mr. Crack Whore.
Hipster guy: Lady, you need therapy.
Chick: Man, you need to stop sucking dick. And a haircut.
–34th & 7th
Overheard by: Jesia Guera
Guy on bench to friend: What did you do? You can't just eat a fish!
–Central Park North
Chick on cell: Were we attacking each other with goldfish last night?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Woman to friend: And on top of that, I hear she smokes like a fish!
–Columbus & 67th
Overheard by: abcnews
Girl on cell: I don't have snakeskin shoes, but I have these fish shoes I really love. Yeah, they're made out of fish scales. They're awesome.
–Penn Station
Middle-aged African American woman: I went to eat in the Bronx and she gave me naked fish.
–Grand Central Terminal
Overheard by: the guy behind the guy
Girl on bench to woman walking past: Pardon me, do you have the time?
Woman, without stopping: No, I don't have the time for you, because you don't have a watch.
–19th St & Irving
Overheard by: Mikaela
Girl #1: Wow, my rain poncho is longer than my skirt.
Girl #2: That's because you're a slut.
–Bard High School Early College
Chick: Do you ever wonder if we’ll get tired of being so rich? You know, like what if later in life we randomly, like, decide to renounce our possessions or something drastic and move to Africa?
Man: What, are you saying you don’t enjoy our lifestyle anymore?
Chick: I don’t know… hey, do you wanna get some coke later?
–82nd & 1st
Overheard by: chuzzle in space
Frantic Chick: Where’s my bag? All my clothes were in there. Oh God, I have to dress like a whore for the next two weeks!
–Costume Party, Dumbo
