Girl: Did you use a condom?
Boy: Nope.
Girl: You’re going to get an STD!
Boy: No, I'm not. It's okay.
Girl: That's what you said last time!
–Union Square
Girl: Did you use a condom?
Boy: Nope.
Girl: You’re going to get an STD!
Boy: No, I'm not. It's okay.
Girl: That's what you said last time!
–Union Square
Drunk girl #1: Oh my god! Getting married is like playing house! It sucks!
Drunk girl #2: Yeah! I never want to get married or have kids. I have too many mental illnesses to pass along.
–L Train
Hipster dude: Hey, wanna know the best way to not get carded at restaurants?
Hipster chick: Offer blowjobs?
Hipster dude: Naw, we could kidnap a kid, train it to call us mommy and daddy, and bring it with us everywhere when we wanna drink.
–7th & Bleecker
(back door opens and closes, then the bus starts moving)
Obnoxious Hispanic Emo girl: Back doooor! Back doooor!
Bus driver: What the fuck!? Speak up, I don’t have all day!
Obnoxious girl: Back dooooor!
Bus driver: I have a family! I’m tired! I want to go home!
Obnoxious girl: Back doooooooor.
Bus driver: Ladies and gentlemen, our future.
–Bx41
Overheard by: If He’s Dissapointed with this I hope he never walks into one of New York’s public schools
Late teenage girl #1: I was gonna go to college but I got pregnant.
Late teenage girl #2: So did I.
Late teenage girl #1: How old is your kid?
Late teenage girl #2: My kid is four. What about yours?
Late teenage girl #1: She’s three. I should have gone to college. My grades were so good I got accepted to Sylvan Learning Center.
Late teenage girl #2 (serious): Wow, you must be smart.
–A Train
Black girl #1: Can I feel the inside of your ear?
Black girl #2: Um…
Black girl #1: I’m not gay, I just like the way ears feel!
–6 Train
Man: That’s a very cute dog!
Girl #1: Yes, she is. My dad got her at a pet store. He was going to get a dog at the shelter, but he didn’t want to.
Girl #2: Yeah, so the dog he would have gotten at the shelter died, because it was a kill shelter.
Dad: Um, I’m not really taking full responsibility for that.
Girl #1: The dog was killed. Just because you didn’t want it.
Girl #2: Yeah, dad.
Dad: Really. I think this is less than 5% my fault. Look, this where we get off.
Man: Have a good night! Sleep well.
–Elevator, 82nd & 3rd
Overheard by: emily
Guy: I like it when people copulate onstage.
Girl: “Copulate?!” What are you, David Attenborough?
–NYU
(cop pulls a drunk hipster chick in faux fur off the train for littering)
Drunk hipster girl: What? I can’t believe he just fucking did that! That wasn’t even her lollipop!
Drunk hipster guy: I know, man. I feel like such an asshole. Like I didn’t even do anything.
Drunk hipster girl: Like seriously, how can he just arrest her? She’s a lady! (yelling) she was wearing fur!
–L Train
Overheard by: Bewildered
Blonde: Wait, she fucked her uncle? That’s so wrong.
Redhead: He’s only, like, three years older than her.
Blonde: Oh, that uncle? That’s not so bad then. I’d fuck him if he was my uncle.
–NYU Classroom
Overheard by: sitting behind them, laughing my ass off
