Scalpel….Scissors….Wednesday One-Liners…

Big black crossdresser: Oh honey, I know that no amount of surgery is going to make me a diva!

–3 Train

Overheard by: Kailee McMahon

Mother to small daughter: Honey, don't forget to wash your hands. (girl scrubs hands for a long time) Honey, you aren't getting ready to perform surgery. Hurry up.

–Women's Bathroom, The Met

Man: He had to have his top hat surgically removed.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Kevin

Intern: Latex gloves are for killing people, surgery and dying your hair.

–1501 Broadway

Overheard by: Randi

Loud woman on phone: Yeah, he got his tubes clipped this weekend. He's been fixed! Oh, but don't tell anyone, he doesn't want anybody to know.

–Dunkin Donuts

Girl on cell: How did teaching go? How was the surgery? Did human skin taste good?

–Columbia University

Overheard by: The Poogtastic One

Posted on October 15, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Black People, Clothing, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Coworkers, Girls, Gossip, Hair, Health and Hygiene, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Murder, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Plastic Surgery, Private Parts, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Sensory Experiences, Stall Spies, The Met, Trannies, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness, Women

That's Just Your Conscience Dying

Ingenue: She looks good for her age.
Jaded older woman: Botox and lifts.
Ingenue: At least her hair is natural.
Jaded older woman: You kidding? She dyes every week.
Ingenue: Her teeth.
Jaded older woman: Please.
Ingenue: Why do I feel guilty just talking to you?

–Front & Wall Streets

Overheard by: Feeling Guilty for Just Listening

Posted on August 15, 2008
Age/Aging, Body Parts, Botox, Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, Gossip, Hair, Old People, Physical appearance, Plastic Surgery, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Women

She’s One of My Best Facebook Friends

Trendy girl #1: I mean, Michelle’s one of my best friends…
Trendy girl #2: Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask you, did Michelle and Kyle break up?
Trendy girl #1: I think so. According to Facebook.

–A Train

Posted on July 20, 2008
Breaking Up, Default, Facebook, Friends, Friendship, Girls, Gossip, Questions, Weirdness

I Still Think She Was Just Fat from Eating

Woman #1: She wastes so much time at work. Did you ever notice she eats lunch, like, every day?
Woman #2: Yeah, and do you really have to take maternity leave?

–55th & 8th

Posted on July 4, 2008
Babies, Default, Food, Gossip, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Office politics, Questions, Time, Women

It’s a Sad State of Affairs When “Lights On” Is Freaky

Dude #1: Yo son, that girl last week, Anna, she is all kinds of freaky.
Dude #2: Weird, that’s what I heard.
Dude #1: Yeah man, she wanted me to do her from behind with the lights on and shit.
Dude #2: Nigga, that shit ain’t freaky.
Dude #1: Yo, with the lights on and a dildo in her mouth.
Dude #2: Wait… Which Anna you talking ’bout, my cousin?

–A Train

Overheard by: nuttybella

Posted on June 17, 2008
Default, Family Ties, Friends, Gossip, Guys, On the Subway, Questions, Sex, Weirdness

Dude, You’re Not Even a Blip on Their Radar Screen

Preppy girl #1: I knew it! I knew it! I told you, I knew it!
Preppy girl #2: Like, oh my god! I knew it, too! I told you I knew it!
Guy, just getting on the train: Like o-m-g, I knew it too!

–R Train

Overheard by: Jenn

Posted on May 24, 2008
Girls, Gossip, Guys, On the Subway, Preppies, Strangers, Words

So Much Classier to Just Hide in the Bushes

Suit #1: Dude, he’s SO strange. You know I walked passed his desk yesterday and he was researching stuff on his computer about religion. Some multicultural shit or something.
Suit #2: Woah.
Suit #1: Yeah, I know. [Pauses.] You know I bet he’s like one of those guys that dates a girl and calls her all the time and stalks her.
Suit #2: Totally.

–Starbucks, 30th and Park

Overheard by: Faetra

Posted on April 3, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Friends, Gossip, Harassment, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Office politics, Psychology, Religion, Starbucks, Suits

Dog: “Ugh! She Wants it AGAIN? I’m Only Canine!”

Girl #1: She wants a doggie.
Guy: A doggie?
Girl #1: Yeah, a doggie.
Girl #2: She likes it doggie?
Girl #1: That’s the only reason she lives for.

–Fort Green, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Rat

Posted on March 31, 2008
Brooklyn, Default, Friends, Girls, Gossip, Happiness, Sex, Wishes & desires

Big, Hard Part. Little, Black Heart.

Guy #1: So yeah, I fucked her, man… It was great.
Guy #2: Good to know, man.
Guy #1: And know what’s better?
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: I fuckin’ hate her!
Guy #2: Sweet, man!
Guy #1: I know!

–30th & 3rd

Overheard by: AMH

Posted on March 25, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Default, Friends, Gossip, Guys, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Sex, Weirdness

Think She Lip-Syncs Her Fake Orgasms?

Hipster guy #1: So, did you hear about Ashlee Simpson hooking up with Ryan Phillipe?
Hipster guy #2: Who is Ashlee Simpson? Who the fuck is Ryan Phillipe?
Hipster guy #1: … Jump in front of the next train.

–1 train

Overheard by: Eric

Posted on March 14, 2008
About Celebrities, Default, Gossip, Guys, Hipsters, On the Subway

Gossip