Ghetto woman on cell: No, no… he ain't ghetto. He ghetto fabulous.
–28th & Lexington
Ditzy tourist: Did you know that, like, all the trains with numbers go to all the rich places and all the trains with letters, like, go to the ghetto areas.
–6 Train
Loud guy: Is that a 50 cent soda? You know you in the ghetto when you got a 50 cent soda.
–Jackson Heights
Woman on cell: That bitch is mad ghetto. She wore her wedding dress to work.
–Lenox & 118th St
Overheard by: K
Man: So I heard you met Harry's new girlfriend?
Woman: Yeah… she's a whore!
–39th & Broadway
Overheard by: LALA
30-something woman on cell: And then he says to me "you have a very nice placenta!"
–85th & 3rd
Overheard by: Whitney Simmons
Shoe shine guy to woman walking by: Nice boots! Nice hat! You sure got a lot of nice things, lady!
–47th & 6th
Overheard by: CreateEvity
NYU girl on cell: Ew! Emma? I can't believe a guy is interested in Emma! I know she's nice, but that's just gross. I really just cannot believe anyone could possibly be attracted to her! She's so ugly!
–Washington Square Park
Enthusiastic Jewish lady in jury room: He's very nice! He's very nice! He's going to be a *happy* archbishop!
–Centre St
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Three-year-old girl: Don't be sassy, mommy, daddy's being nice.
–Front St.
Overheard by: Aviva
Older black man to circle of friends: I'll bend her over a bench and stick it into her! You know–I'm a nice guy.
–Flatbush & Lincoln
Asian chick: Really!? Seriously!? That's so rude! I've never had anything like that happen to me before!
Blonde friend: Yeah, I know! What an asshole!
Asian chick: Wait, are you sure? He just fingered you with all those people in the restaurant watching?
(friends laugh)
Asian chick: Wait…what? I don't get it. That's what people say, right? He fingered you. He put his middle finger up.
Brunette friend, still laughing: No, no! He gave her the finger. He did not finger her.
Asian chick: Oh! Wow! I'm so glad I made that mistake now. I would have told everyone that she got fingered tonight.
–8th Ave, Chelsea
Overheard by: Wondering how anyone makes that mistake…
Bar hopper: Look at him! He's 20, but he sucks dick like he's 47!
–2nd Ave & 5th St
Overheard by: Christian
Girl on cell: I'm really mad that he's telling everyone I gave him head, and calling my mom a milf.
–West 72nd Urban Outfitters
Overheard by: Will
Student on cell: I can't wait to put that in my mouth.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Wait, What?
30-something to teen: I'm telling you: ignore a bitch and she'll be giving you head in a day.
–Central Park
Slutty girl: So after about five minutes, I took a break and my jaw was shaking.
–87th & 3rd
Crazy hobo: Look, I don't mean this in a sexual manner, but could you suck my dick?
–Times Square
Hobo #1: Britney Spears is a pussy.
Hobo #2: I was tapping her before she got pregnant.
–1 Train
20-something Asian girl: She's a freak. She's made out with a 65-year-old Chinese man.
20-something Dutch girl: Maybe he looked 40 then.
20-something Asian girl: He's still 65.
20-something Dutch girl: Hey, age ain't nothing but a number!
20-something Asian girl: What?!
20-something Dutch girl: No, actually that is not okay. He even has a special Metrocard so he can ride the subway for a discount.
–11th & Ave C
Overheard by: CM
JAP #1: Oh my god, did you hear about what Aaron wrote on Brittany's Facebook wall?
JAP #2: Oh my god, yeah, that's like, disgusting. Like, she looks like a fucking koala.
JAP #1: Totally. Like, who wants to date a tree climbing marsupial?
JAP #2: Fuck no! I'd rather kill my brother!
–Saks Fifth Avenue
Woman #1: You hear her dog died?
Woman #2: Who dog died?
Woman #1: Oprah's dog died.
(long pause)
Woman #2: So, anyway…
–Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn
White lady reading gossip magazine: Will you all be quiet? I wanna read about Madonna's age mystery!
Black hipster girl: Look at that bitch's hands! Case closed.
–2 Train
Overheard by: not from these parts
