Wednesday One-Liners See London and France

30-something guy to another: She works for Sesame Street so she gets a lot of free underwear.

–Brooklyn Label, Greenpoint

Girl: Yeah, dude. She wasn't wearing any underwear so everyone was trying to pull down her skirt!

–St. Mark's Place

Overheard by: Mollie

Tourist mom in matching pink jumpsuit, struggling with too many children: Oh my Jesus, I wore the wrong thong today!

–42nd St

Overheard by: Emily

Puzzled hipster on cell: Wait…how did wearing a thong fuck up her eye?

–7th St & Ave A

Hipster girl on cell: Did you get your underwear? Lindsey! Goddamn it! "Eat" sounds nothing like "get!" Fuck! What? Fuck you, bitch! Taste of my own medicine, bullshit! I heard nothing about gnawing on my own underwear!

–Baskin-Robbins, Mulberry

Overheard by: Hana

Very blond mother pushing baby carriage, on cell: I don't care, we've talked about this! Don't fucking touch my underwear!

–20th St & 7th Ave

Posted on October 1, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Insults, Lower Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Nudity, Offers and requests, Questions, TV, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners Are Too Cool for Shul

Six-year-old girl to middle-aged passenger: Well, I'm Jewish, but my parents are Aries. So I'm not really sure what that makes me.

–Amtrak

Overheard by: half Jewish, half Gemini

Guy: Oh, I know Jewish girls give good head!

–81st & Amsterdam

Awkward Catholic boy: These days there are more Jews in New York than Israel…and they all worship Barbara Walters as their Spider Queen.

–Steps of The Met

(outside the Marionette Theater's showing of Jack and the Beanstalk)
Four-year-old: Fee fi fo fum, I smell the blood of a Jewish man.

–Outside the Marionette Theatre, Central Park

Drunk guy inside German bar, pointing at small guy with a jewfro: Juden!

–German Beer Garden, Williamsburg

Overheard by: POLA

Woman on cell: Well, he wasn't as forthcoming with me as he is with you, probably because I keep telling him to stop dating that fat Asian girl and find himself a nice Jewish girl instead …

–Broadway & Prince

Posted on October 1, 2008
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, BJs, Blood & bleeding, Brooklyn, Central Park, Compare/Contrast, Global Geography, Guys, Hitler/Nazis, Judaism, Kids, Nazis, On Cell, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Soho, The Met, Trains Not Subway, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Don't Jaywalk, They Strut

Old lady crossing the street waiting for cars to pass: C'mon people, shake a leg. (cars pass) Thank you very much.

–80th & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Peg

Woman leading tour group across 8th Ave: Okay people, walk quickly and walk with purpose. When the red hand stops the light changes and you will be hit by a car.

–54th & 8th

Overheard by: James

Female tourist to her friend: Why is everyone crossing the street when the light is red?

–Times Square

Girl Scout in uniform: No, it's okay. You can jaywalk here!

–34th & 7th Ave

Overheard by: Marie

Woman running into middle of road waving arms: Stop, stop, I don't want to get hit. Stoppppp! (cars slow down or slam on brakes) Hahahaha…just kidding.

–Union Turnpike & Utopia Parkway, Queens

(cab turns in front of guy crossing) Guy: Hey, I'm walking here! (turns to his friend) I always wanted to say that.

–42nd St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Alex

Posted on October 1, 2008
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Cars and Driving, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Death, Guys, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, Old People, Only in New York, Queens, Threats, Times Square, Tourists, Upper East Side, Weirdness, Women

Suspenders or Belt, Wednesday One-Liners?

Guy: Okay, we can invite him too, but you have to remind him that pants are a requirement, not a mild suggestion.

–Uptown 2 Train

Middle aged man at the end of police show (exhausted from dancing around the suite all night): Wow, I can't believe I kept my pants on!

–MSG Skybox

Overheard by: Russ Beef

Man to friend: And like, man I wasn't gonna drink anything, but I smoked like one hundred blunts and was so high and I was like taking my pants off and shit.

–1 Train

Overheard by: batou187

Ghetto guy to ghetto friends: I remember the day I got my Reeboks like I remember the day that I peed my pants…when I was too old to pee my pants.

–A train

Overheard by: Hannah

Guy on phone: I think that may be slightly humiliating though, if the pants actually come off. And someone feels the chicken cutlets inserted in your underpants for some added power.

–19th & 8th

Overheard by: Joey

Posted on October 1, 2008
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Drinks, Guys, Madison Square Garden, Men, Nudity, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, Pee, Weed, Weirdness

Which May or May Not Have a Minimum Height Requirement

Old guy: I heard they have a ride for kids over there.
Ghetto guy: Are you kidding me? The only good ride you can get around here is nine chicks and one dude!

–Nostrand Ave & Ave Y, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Amber S

Posted on September 30, 2008
Brooklyn, Default, Guys, Kids, Old People, Questions, Sex, Words

There Are Eight Million Stories in the Naked City

Crazy guy: Hello.
Girl: Hi.
Crazy guy: You know, yesterday I had a nervous breakdown. My girlfriend kicked me out of the house forever.
Girl: Oh…
Crazy guy: It was nice talking to you. Bye.

–Union Square

Posted on September 30, 2008
Breaking Up, Crazies, Crazy, Default, Girls, Guys, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

Wait! — Let Me Put on My L.L. Bean Jacket and Try That Again

Wannabe rap superstar: Yo, wanna buy this CD?
Middle aged white guy: What are the beats like?
Wannabe rap superstar: (silence)
Middle aged white guy: Are they like (starts beat-boxing)?
Wannabe rap superstar: No. (leaves)

–96th St & Amsterdam

Overheard by: sure they weren't

Posted on September 28, 2008
Default, Guys, Musicians, Offers and requests, Questions, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, White People

…on Easter Morning

Guy (smelling weed, to male friend): Hey man, you smell that?
Girl: Yeah, it smells like my dad.

–Terminal 5

Overheard by: Adam

Posted on September 28, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, Guys, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Parents, Questions, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Theater, Weirdness

The Real World: Junior High Turned Out to Be a Legal Powderkeg

20-something male #1: Dude, all she did all week was stay out late, get drunk, and hook up with random guys.
20-something male #2: Yeah, but that's what vacation is for.
20-something male #1: Not when it's your 13-year-old sister!

–Gramercy

Overheard by: She said she was 19

Posted on September 28, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Family Ties, Friends, Guys, Hook Ups, Leisure, Murray Hill and Gramercy

And We Get to Be the Chosen People–Totally Worth It

20-something guy to date: Yeah, I had mine done by a real mohel.
20-something girl, awkwardly: Oh, really?
20-something guy: Yep, the guy's whole job is to go around chopping off babies' dicks.

–American Museum of Natural History

Overheard by: dream profession?

Posted on September 27, 2008
Babies, Circumcision, Default, Girls, Guys, Jobs & Careers, Judaism, Museum of Natural History, Penis, Upper East Side

Guys