Wednesday One-Liners Don't Jaywalk, They Strut

Old lady crossing the street waiting for cars to pass: C'mon people, shake a leg. (cars pass) Thank you very much.

–80th & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Peg

Woman leading tour group across 8th Ave: Okay people, walk quickly and walk with purpose. When the red hand stops the light changes and you will be hit by a car.

–54th & 8th

Overheard by: James

Female tourist to her friend: Why is everyone crossing the street when the light is red?

–Times Square

Girl Scout in uniform: No, it's okay. You can jaywalk here!

–34th & 7th Ave

Overheard by: Marie

Woman running into middle of road waving arms: Stop, stop, I don't want to get hit. Stoppppp! (cars slow down or slam on brakes) Hahahaha…just kidding.

–Union Turnpike & Utopia Parkway, Queens

(cab turns in front of guy crossing) Guy: Hey, I'm walking here! (turns to his friend) I always wanted to say that.

–42nd St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Alex

Posted on October 1, 2008
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Cars and Driving, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Death, Guys, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, Old People, Only in New York, Queens, Threats, Times Square, Tourists, Upper East Side, Weirdness, Women

Suspenders or Belt, Wednesday One-Liners?

Guy: Okay, we can invite him too, but you have to remind him that pants are a requirement, not a mild suggestion.

–Uptown 2 Train

Middle aged man at the end of police show (exhausted from dancing around the suite all night): Wow, I can't believe I kept my pants on!

–MSG Skybox

Overheard by: Russ Beef

Man to friend: And like, man I wasn't gonna drink anything, but I smoked like one hundred blunts and was so high and I was like taking my pants off and shit.

–1 Train

Overheard by: batou187

Ghetto guy to ghetto friends: I remember the day I got my Reeboks like I remember the day that I peed my pants…when I was too old to pee my pants.

–A train

Overheard by: Hannah

Guy on phone: I think that may be slightly humiliating though, if the pants actually come off. And someone feels the chicken cutlets inserted in your underpants for some added power.

–19th & 8th

Overheard by: Joey

Posted on October 1, 2008
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Drinks, Guys, Madison Square Garden, Men, Nudity, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, Pee, Weed, Weirdness

Which May or May Not Have a Minimum Height Requirement

Old guy: I heard they have a ride for kids over there.
Ghetto guy: Are you kidding me? The only good ride you can get around here is nine chicks and one dude!

–Nostrand Ave & Ave Y, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Amber S

Posted on September 30, 2008
Brooklyn, Default, Guys, Kids, Old People, Questions, Sex, Words

There Are Eight Million Stories in the Naked City

Crazy guy: Hello.
Girl: Hi.
Crazy guy: You know, yesterday I had a nervous breakdown. My girlfriend kicked me out of the house forever.
Girl: Oh…
Crazy guy: It was nice talking to you. Bye.

–Union Square

Posted on September 30, 2008
Breaking Up, Crazies, Crazy, Default, Girls, Guys, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

Wait! — Let Me Put on My L.L. Bean Jacket and Try That Again

Wannabe rap superstar: Yo, wanna buy this CD?
Middle aged white guy: What are the beats like?
Wannabe rap superstar: (silence)
Middle aged white guy: Are they like (starts beat-boxing)?
Wannabe rap superstar: No. (leaves)

–96th St & Amsterdam

Overheard by: sure they weren't

Posted on September 28, 2008
Default, Guys, Musicians, Offers and requests, Questions, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, White People

…on Easter Morning

Guy (smelling weed, to male friend): Hey man, you smell that?
Girl: Yeah, it smells like my dad.

–Terminal 5

Overheard by: Adam

Posted on September 28, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, Guys, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Parents, Questions, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Theater, Weirdness

The Real World: Junior High Turned Out to Be a Legal Powderkeg

20-something male #1: Dude, all she did all week was stay out late, get drunk, and hook up with random guys.
20-something male #2: Yeah, but that's what vacation is for.
20-something male #1: Not when it's your 13-year-old sister!

–Gramercy

Overheard by: She said she was 19

Posted on September 28, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Family Ties, Friends, Guys, Hook Ups, Leisure, Murray Hill and Gramercy

And We Get to Be the Chosen People–Totally Worth It

20-something guy to date: Yeah, I had mine done by a real mohel.
20-something girl, awkwardly: Oh, really?
20-something guy: Yep, the guy's whole job is to go around chopping off babies' dicks.

–American Museum of Natural History

Overheard by: dream profession?

Posted on September 27, 2008
Babies, Circumcision, Default, Girls, Guys, Jobs & Careers, Judaism, Museum of Natural History, Penis, Upper East Side

What About a Cucumber in a Baggie?

Guy #1: You're getting a cape?
Guy #2: Yeah, I figure we can prop the hood up and make it like the reservoir.
Guy #1: You're either going to look like a giant penis in a condom or a Ku Klux Klan member in saran wrap.

–Costume Store, 11th & Broadway

Overheard by: brian

Posted on September 26, 2008
Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Default, Guys, Physical appearance, Questions, Store, The Village

Well, You Once Told Me I Was the Best Part of Waking Up

Guy: I told my sister when I die, I want her to cremate me and put the ashes in coffee cans, so people will think they're coffee grounds and I'll be in their coffee.
Girl: You are so stupid.

–4th St & Ave A

Overheard by: Better than <a href=

Posted on September 26, 2008
Coffee, Death, Default, Girls, Guys, Insults, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Guys