Oh, Puke, It's Wednesday One-Liners!

Teenybopper: I was going to see Legally Blonde, but then I threw up in Kmart twice.

–Delacourte Theater, before Hair

Overheard by: Morgan

Girl to another: It's easy–you just put your finger down your throat and you vomit!

–Union Square Park

Overheard by: Sarah

Guy on laptop to woman sitting next to him: Sorry if I make throw-up noises, no offense.

–Penn Station, NJ Transit

Overheard by: altaatlantic

Girl on cell: Oh my god. Like if that meal wasn't so expensive, I would have thrown it up!

–3rd Ave & 8th St

Overheard by: rachel

Teenage girl on payphone: Ma? Hey ma? Hold on. (vomits) I'm throwing up! (vomits some more) I *said* I'm (vomits a third time) throwing up. I'm done now. What?

–Wilson Ave, Bushwick

Overheard by: Sarah Booz

Girl to friend, while smoking: So there I was, puking…and they started to have sex!

–Third and Long Bar

Posted on October 8, 2008
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Apologies, Bars & Clubs, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Central Park, Compare/Contrast, Food, Girls, Guys, Money & Class, Movies, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, Penn Station, Sex, Theater, Tweens, Union Square and East Village, Vomit, Weirdness

Anyone Else Wondering What This Guy's Doing in Harlem?

Country gent with thick drawl: I need tickets for two seniors and two adults, please.
MTA booth worker: Okay, where you goin?
Country gent with thick drawl: My son's house.
MTA booth worker: What train station?
Country gent with thick drawl: I dunno, does “Hartford” sound about right?

–Harlem 125th Street Metro North Station

Posted on October 6, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, NYC Geography, Offers and requests, Public Transportation, Questions, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Travel, Words

The Republicans' New Anti-Immigration Video Is a Little Over the Top

Hipster girl: What's that?
Salvadorian guy: My benefits card, like food stamps. You could get one!
Hipster girl: Really?
Salvadorian guy: You should! We could barbecue non-stop! For free!

–Starbucks, Astor Place

Overheard by: anyabelisle

Posted on October 6, 2008
Advice, Default, Food, Free stuff!, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Latinos, Questions, Starbucks, The Village

I Heart NY. Now More Than Ever.

(girl flips off hecklers in a car)
Guy in car: Oh yeah, sweetie? Why don't you stick that up your ass?!
Girl: Maybe if I made it into a fist you'd want to stick it up yours.

–30th Ave, Astoria

Posted on October 3, 2008
Astoria, Backdoor, Default, Girls, Guys, Insults, Only in New York

Remember That Seinfeld Episode?

Guy #1: Oh, hey, Dan is back in New York now!
Guy #2: Yeah, actually I was over at his house this past weekend.
Guy #1: Did you get to see the baby?
Guy #2: I did get to see the baby.
Guy #1: Well? How was the baby??
Guy #2: The baby would have been adorable if it was a boy, but…unfortunately…

–20th St & 10th Ave

Overheard by: Bridget

Posted on October 3, 2008
Babies, Default, Gender issues, Guys, Questions, West Village

Let's Review: Rude, Okay; Racist, Not Okay

Black guy who just walked in: Excuse me, sir, have you been waiting for the train long?
White guy reading newspaper (with an Obama sticker on his bag): Sorry, I don't have any spare change.
Black guy: What?

–1 Train

Posted on October 3, 2008
Black People, Default, Guys, Insults, Money & Class, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Race, Time, White People

How Come Math Majors Are Always the Slowest to Understand This Concept?

Nerdy guy: I don't understand what the significance of the number 69 is. Can someone explain it to me?
Girl: You go to NYU and you don't know that?
(nerdy guy shakes his head)
Girl: To put it bluntly, it's two people giving each other head.
Nerdy guy: Wait, but what does that mean?
Girl: Oh my god…I can't tell you that now. You're the most innocent guy here. It would be like killing a unicorn.

–Kimmel Center, NYU

Posted on October 2, 2008
Animals & Nature, BJs, Compare/Contrast, Default, Dorks, Geeks and Nerds, Girls, Guys, NYU, Questions, Washington Square Park, Words

As Opposed to All the Non-White People on Growing Pains?

Old black guy #1: Have you heard from Sheryl lately?
Old black guy #2: Yeah, she married a white boy.
Old black guy #1: Damn.
Old black guy #2: There ain't nothing wrong with white boys! She married Alan Thicke's son!
Old black guy #1: She married Alan Thicke?
Old black guy #2: No, man…Alan Thicke's son!
Old black guy #1: Wait, which one is Alan Thicke?
Old black guy #2: He's that white-ass nigga from Growing pains!
Old black guy #1: Damn!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Jess

Posted on October 2, 2008
About Celebrities, Black People, Default, Guys, Marriage, Old People, Penn Station, Questions, Race, TV

Nobody's Snugger Than a Bugger in a Rugger

Shady guy rolling an oriental rug on a hand truck: New rug! Good price I give you!
Couple standing outside: Nah, that's okay.
Shady guy: It's brand new! You can make love on it!

–Madison Ave & 28th St

Overheard by: Marie Z.

Posted on October 2, 2008
Advice, Couples, Default, Guys, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, Sex, Vendors & Street Performers

The Wrong Way to Acquire Insight

Pretty girl: So are the fries here good?
Foreign cashier: Yes, de fries here–they are like your eyes. They are very beautiful. You will not forget de taste.
Pretty girl: Oh, thank you…
Foreign cashier: Yes, you eat de fries, I eat your eyes. Yes!

–Burger Joint, The Village

Posted on October 2, 2008
Cashiers, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Customers, Default, Girls, Guys, Junk Food & Fast Food, Pick-up Lines, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, The Village

Guys