Promoter guy: Do you guys like comedy?
Girl #1: We hate laughter.
Girl #2: Sunshine and happiness too.
–Union Square
Promoter guy: Do you guys like comedy?
Girl #1: We hate laughter.
Girl #2: Sunshine and happiness too.
–Union Square
Guy: Can I help you?
Woman: You got boogers.
Guy: What?
Woman: You got boogers on your hand. I don’t want it.
Guy: I got allergies.
Woman: Well, whatever it is, I don’t want it!
Guy: You can’t catch allergies…
–Times Square station
Overheard by: Anton I
Guy #1: So did you get to see him this weekend?
Guy #2: Yeah, but we were clothed.
–6 train
Girl: Wow, look at all these vegetables and things.
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: This is great! We should come here all the time.
Guy: I think my testicles are falling off.
–Union Square
Girl: God there are so many Chinos here. I hate Chinese people.
Guy: You’re so dis…What do they call it? Racist! That’s not a very good attribute to have, Christina.
Girl: The only people I like are Spanish people and white people.
Guy: I hope one day someone who’s black and Chinese and…80 other races all mixed together bitchslaps you in the face!
–Canal & Lafayette
Overheard by: nadja spiegelman
Old lady: They are going to strike? They should put up signs fuckers! I see you looking at me you skinny bitch, fuck you.
Conductor: The doors are closing.
Old lady: Can’t put up signs but the fucker is telling me the doors are closing.
–F train
Hobo: Don’t worry about the strike, we’ll all fly to work! Flap our wings and fly!
–14th & 7th
Guy: I was there at the strike in 1980; I remember it well. It went on for two weeks. Of course, they could never have it that long now. The population of the city has doubled since 1980.
–Bowling Green station
Overheard by: greek goddess
Conductor: Shit, I’ll get nasty right now. I’ll pull the brakes, see how they like that.
–1 train
Overheard by: Priscilla Castillo
Tween boy: So how’s the strike going?
Bus driver: If there was a strike I wouldn’t be here, you moron.
–M15 bus
Overheard by: Sara’s Hot
Woman: C’mon, please move into the train.
Guy: Would you like to crawl into my asshole?
–1 train, 34th Street station
Guy: Yo, the 1/9 train always smells like ass! I think it’s the fragrance they use.
–1 train
Guy: Do you have Bareback Mountain?
–The Strand
HS guy: Would you like to buy a bag of M&M’s to support our basketball team?
Chick: Sorry.
HS guy: Come on, just one bag, we’re raising funds for our team–
Chick: Sorry. I’m sorry.
HS guy: “Sorry”, what is that, “sorry”? Why don’t you just say “no” if you mean no? Why don’t you just say “no“?
–13th & Broadway
Overheard by: Lily
