Guy #1: You the Grinch, nigga!
Guy #2: I'm the Grinch? How?
Guy #1: I dunno. You just the Grinch.
Guy #2: You're the Grinch, you little fuck!
Guy #1: I can't be the Grinch. I have Christmas spirit.
–F Train
Guy #1: You the Grinch, nigga!
Guy #2: I'm the Grinch? How?
Guy #1: I dunno. You just the Grinch.
Guy #2: You're the Grinch, you little fuck!
Guy #1: I can't be the Grinch. I have Christmas spirit.
–F Train
Ghetto dude on phone: Do you know what I could do with that money? I could get a new pair of pants… or maybe get my hair done.
–Broadway & 86th St
Girl to another: I had this teacher in high school who wore the tightest pants. Camel toe all the time.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Giancarlo
Annoying sober 20-something, returning from bathroom: God! I'm so sweaty, it made it really hard to pull my pants down.
–Diner, 3rd Ave
Teenage girl to another: He came here to do a concert. He probably doesn't want to hear you scream, "Take your pants off!"
–Battery Park
Young boy: Mom, my problem is that I just can’t pay attention for long enough to do my homework the right way. I mean, maybe it’s’s just the weed talking, but I’d like to see someone.
–Washington Square Park
Guy #1: Yo, I don’t even believe in water, alls I drink is Pepsi.
Guy #2: Yep yep, water’s for pussies.
–47th & 9th
Tourist girl to friend: Oh my god, people are totally going to know we’re from Boston when they hear our accents!
Guy sweeping cigarette butts: No, people are going to know you’re from Boston when they hear you freak out and call the bomb squad over one of our electronic ads.
–49th & 9th
Overheard by: guy who dropped a couple of the cigarette butts
Tourist guy: How do I get to Essex Street from here?
New Yorker guy: Go down about seven or eight blocks, make a left, and ask somebody there.
–St. Mark’s Pl & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Drew
Cute blonde: I like fucking you. No, I love fucking you.
Buff guy: Yeah.
Cute blonde: But if I suck your dick and you cum, you'll fall asleep.
Buff guy: How about you suck my dick and then I fuck you?
Cute blonde: That never happens. But if you come with me to my friend Sam's party, I'll suck your dick.
–4 Train
Girl: I haven’t talked to her since she left for college. How is she?
Guy: I don’t know, man…I haven’t heard from her either, so I guess she’s just, like, decaying or whatever.
–80th & East End
Overheard by: Anne O.
Girl #1 to girl #2: Wouldn't you just rather have a night where we just get really high and scissor?
–Grand & Union, Brooklyn
Guy on cell: So they're smoking crack and fucking on his mother's bed!
–17th & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Dave
Little kid: Look, I'm on crack!
–Apple Store, Staten Island Mall
Overheard by: Robert
Junkie to junkie companion, standing in front of Band-Aids: I need to test positive for methadone and negative for everything else…
–Walgreens, Union Square
Hobo on train: Does anyone have any money for me? Any food? Any opium? Lots and lots of opium?
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: left my opium stash at home
20-something blond girl on cell: You just have to convince them that you care more about college than you do about drugs, and they'll give you another chance…that's what I did!
–Chinatown Bus
Overheard by: GavinJoyce
Tourist: So I called her up and said, "Come down or you're going to miss breakfast, and I want to have breakfast with you." And all she said was, "I really like opium." and I was like, "Oh, okay."
–33rd & 7th
Overheard by: EthanK
Little guy to big guy wearing fur hat: You know, wearing fur is murder.
Big guy wearing fur hat: So is me pushing you off the train.
–A Train
