Hobo: Let me ask you something. How come White people don’t buy from Black-owned businesses?
White guy: I do. All the time.
Hobo: Yeah? What Black stores do you shop at?
–Morningside Drive & 113th
Overheard by: Captain Obvious
Hobo: Let me ask you something. How come White people don’t buy from Black-owned businesses?
White guy: I do. All the time.
Hobo: Yeah? What Black stores do you shop at?
–Morningside Drive & 113th
Overheard by: Captain Obvious
Hobo #1: I love you.
Hobo #2: Get the fuck out of here.
Hobo #1: What?
Hobo #2: You are going to fuck with me and you are going to get yourself hurt. I mean it!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: bebe
Suit #1: That was a pretty good meeting…
Suit #2: Yeah, we got a lot done.
Hobo: Was Liam Neeson in it?
–51st & Madison
Overheard by: BDA
Hobo putting hand on Justin Timberlake look-alike’s shoulder: Oh, shit! It’s Justin Timberlake, everybody!
Look-alike: Uh, what?
Tourist teenybopper: Can I have your autograph, please?
Look-alike: I’m not Justin Timberlake.
Tourist teenybopper: But you are.
Hobo, to look-alike: Dude, you work with me here, okay? We’ll do business. [To train] Ten bucks for Justin Timberlake’s autograph, everyone! For 20 bucks he’ll dance for you.
Tourist teenybopper: I have five dollars…
Hobo: We’re in business!
Look-alike: I’m going to kill you.
Hobo, to look-alike: Damn, this is the best plan I’ve ever come up with! Except for the time I tried to sell Lindsay Lohan’s piss for 20 bucks. Well, it was actually my own piss. I think God put me on this Earth to fuck with people.
–4 train
Girl: What do you think he would do if I pushed his cart over?
Hobo: Bitch, I don’t care if you’re a girl, I’ll beat your ass.
–Carroll St & 7th Ave, Brooklyn
Girl to friend: Fucking prick!
Hobo: Girl, you nasty. You nasty, but I’d still do ya.
–6 train platform, 33rd St
Hobo, singing: Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb! Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was…
Man, holding out dollar: I will give you one dollar to shut the fuck up.
Hobo: (shuts up)
–14th St Subway Station
Girl: How can homeless people even afford to ride the subway?
Guy: I wonder if they think of their MetroCard as a business investment.
–N train
Overheard by: Daniel Motta
Toothless bag lady: I don’t know what it is with this town anymore. I guess no one likes blowjobs. I give great blowjobs! Maybe I’m charging too much.
Cop: What are you charging?
Toothless bag lady: $100.
Cop: That’s pretty steep…
–Times Square
Overheard by: Spiney
A hobo is talking into his hand as if it were a phone.
Hobo: Fuck that shit. I’m going dancing!
He hangs up his imaginary phone.
Hobo: Damn, that bitch talks too much.
–Staten Island ferry
