Old man: A-ha! I got it. I want to be with a younger woman!
Guy: No, no you don’t! Why? Why?
Old man: Are you kidding me? Look at them.
–55th between 5th & 6th
Old man: A-ha! I got it. I want to be with a younger woman!
Guy: No, no you don’t! Why? Why?
Old man: Are you kidding me? Look at them.
–55th between 5th & 6th
Woman: He’s so horny he’d fuck a venetian blind.
–Starbucks, UES
Dude: What? So moving furniture didn’t turn you on?
–Spring & Lafayette
Overheard by: Thoms
Black hipster guy, pointing at newspaper: Look, look at this, I was right! I told you so! Tell me I was right.
Redhead hipster girl: Yeah, you were right.
Black hipster guy: Tell me I was right, and that I'm a sexy motherfucker, and that you want my cock really bad.
Redhead hipster girl: Okay, you were right, you're a sexy motherfucker, and I want your cock sooo bad. (starts whispering in his ear)
Black hipster guy, pushing her away: What is wrong with you? Who raised you? Were you raised by wolves…slutty wolves?
–Uptown 1 Train
Guy: Hottest piece of ass I’ve ever seen.
Girl: She is beautiful, huh?
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: So you think they’re real?
Guy: I dunno.
Girl: I think they’re natural.
–Houston & Lafayette
Guy #1: I talked to the redhead girl.
Guy #2: No, I said to talk to the red sweater girl.
Guy #1: Oh, I thought you said the redhead girl.
Guy #2: Well, what’d she say, anyway?
–The Dublin Harp, UWS
Overheard by: Travis York
Drunk guy: I want a definitive answer… Yes or no. I just want to hear you say “I want to be with you.”
Embarrassed sober girl: Dan, I want to be with you.
Drunk guy: That's all I wanted to hear… I want to go down on you.
Embarrassed sober girl: Shhh!
Drunk guy: I want to lick your vagina. I want to lick your vagina!
Embarrassed sober girl: Be quiet!
Drunk guy: Do you want me to cum on you?
–PATH
Small white chick: I'm so horny. All I can think is, “penis penis penis penis.”
Large black gay friend: I know how you feel. That's me, constantly.
Small white chick: Well, it's also me. So I guess we're in the same boat. The same penis-shaped boat.
Large black gay friend: Big, hard, black penis-shaped boat.
Small white chick: That's us. We're in that boat.
Large black gay friend: Is it a motorboat?!
Small white chick: Yes! Of course!
Large black gay friend: Yay!
Small white chick: It is a penis-boat, after all.
Large black gay friend: We're soooo horny… It's kinda gross.
–23rd St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Penisboat
Hipster teenage girl: Holy crap, there's a midget! I love seeing midgets in the city. I always text my friends and say "there's a midget following me!"
–Central Park
Woman on cell: You and me can't eat twice. Midgets can eat twice. (pause) And babies can eat twice too!
–5th Ave & 10th St
Overheard by: Kody
Theater teacher: Even though he was under four feet and she was over six feet, it wasn't that weird. I mean, that scene with the deep kissing, when the whole crew is watching, that was kind of… hot. (pause) No, no, I mean, I wasn't sitting there being like, "wow, this midget really turns me on!" I don't go on giantess. Come in my spare time…
–Hunter College High School
Sexy guy: Don't pretend you've never wondered what it would look like to see midgets make 600 chocolate casino dice.
–Morningside Heights
Overheard by: Ladle
20-something guy dressed as Edward Cullen for Halloween: So anyway, I walk in, and they are both sitting there, playing with each other's erections…
–Bedford Ave & Berry St
Overheard by: Marie Miller Barnes
Ginger kid in audience, as photo of awkward Asian teen sticking banana in his mouth is projected on movie screen: I am definitely aroused.
–Tisch School of the Arts
Joggers to another: Raging hard-ons!
–Prospect Park, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Katie
20-something girl to another: How could he not go out with you? I mean, you gave him a boner at Relay For Life!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Becca
