International House of Wednesday One-Liners

Man: Of course, by this point I’ve experienced all sorts of international butt-cracks.

–34th & 8th

Overheard by: ghilledhu

Fat man: Of course this statue was French-made — when you look up her dress she’s not shaved.

–Statue of Liberty

Checkout lady: Nah, he’s third generation. He’s not a real Greek, he’s a fake Greek.

–Key Food, Astoria

Overheard by: sara n.

Guy: Do you think anyone will notice that I’m French?

–E 8th St & Broadway

British bloke, loudly on cell: Listen, I don’t give a shit what time it is over there, you fucking lazy, German sack of shite.

–World Trade Center

Overheard by: alright guv’nor

Lady, about her dog: I think a Mexican family owned him. He refuses to eat anything but rice and beans.

–Diner

Girl on cell: She has this Spanish boyfriend from work who has a girlfriend. But, I guess in Spain or wherever, that’s okay.

–Union Square

Overheard by: kelsey

Posted on November 6, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Global Geography, Infidelity, Insults, Man's Best Friend, Time, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

When Games Of “Telephone” Go Horribly Awry

Girl #1: I didn't know Ella Fitzgerald was such a ghetto bitch!
Girl #2: Oh, she was.

–Times Square

Posted on November 3, 2014
About Celebrities, Girls, Insults, Music, Singing, Times Square

Wednesday Will One-Liner Anything That Moves

50-something actress: I'm one of the founding sluts.

–Chelsea Studios

Overheard by: Joshy Sweetpants

Guy on cell: That's what I said: I fucked him, but I'm not attracted to him.

–81st & Columbus

Overheard by: Flooey

Adorable seven-year-old kid on bike: She liked it. Ashley liked it. Ashley's a whore.

–Havemeyer & 2nd, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Nathalie & Noah

Girl on cell: Well, I'm in a different place now. Now I'm a slut.

–W 4th & 6th Ave

Teenage girl on cell, beaming, as if she just had a revelation: Oh, I forgot you're a whore! (yelling triumphantly) You're a whore!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Emilia

Posted on November 3, 2014
Actors, All Wednesday One-Liners, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Girls, Guys, Insults, Kids, On Cell, One-liners, Penn Station, Promiscuity, Sex, Street, Teens, The Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Williamsburg

It's Made Him Selfish

Girl #1: So yeah, he's been telling my mom every time I fuck up.
Girl #2: Ugh. How old is he, even?
Girl #1: Like 40, maybe 50-ish.
Girl #2: So why, like, do you just not tell him to fuck off?
Girl #1: I want to, but he's been acting all bad-ass since he got cancer.

–Greenpoint YMCA

Overheard by: Anwar

Posted on October 30, 2014
Age/Aging, Brooklyn, Cancer, Girls, Insults, Parents, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Eh, That Could Mean Anything.

Fat woman #1: Listen! I am telling you that that bitch stole my cat! I am absolutely positive that she mothafuckin' stole my cat!
Fat woman #2: Girl, she probably did, she's crazy. What made you so damn convinced that she did it?
Fat woman #1: Because I got a mothafuckin' text message from her sayin', “meow.”

–Liquor Store, Brooklyn

Posted on October 29, 2014
Brooklyn, Cell Phone, Fat People, Gay Man's Best Friend, Insults, Nicknames & name calling, Questions, Store, Thievery

“…The whole ‘woman’ thing isn’t helping, either.”

Little girl: But Daddy! I thought the store was the other way.
Dad: Well, that’s why you’re not leading this little expedition, now isn’t it?

–Park & 26th

Posted on October 27, 2014
Dads, Directions, Insults, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Shopping

Whatever It Takes

Religious lady: Here’s a flyer to educate you about Jesus.
Teen guy: I’m agnostic.
Religious lady: That’s the wrong religion.
Teen guy: It’s not a religion.
Religious lady: Accept Jesus Christ and be saved!
Teen guy: Fuck Jesus.
Religious lady: What?!
Teen guy: Fuck Jesus.
Religious lady: You shouldn’t say that — Jesus will forgive you.
Teen guy: You’re ugly. Now leave me alone.

–Delancey St

Overheard by: Used to this shit

Posted on October 26, 2014
God Squad, Insults, Jesus, Lower East Side

Hella Good Wednesday One-Liners

Twitchy dude to no one in particular: What? You selling something? What you selling? You all are devils! Devil worshipers! Bunch of devil worshipers! Devils, devils, devils! See you in hell! Oh…I won't be there, though.

–C Train

Hipster girl on cell: No, the black marks are from me cheating on you with Satan. (pause) Yeah, now I'm pregnant and he won't marry me.

–23rd & 5th

Overheard by: Louisa

Young guy on cell, about video game: I gave them my soul. I gave them my soul! See, my soul legally belongs to you, so you tricked them. (pause) Give him his soul! Give him his soul! What? What? Too late!

–93rd St, Bay Ridge

Screaming man with ashes on forehead to man walking past on Ash Wednesday: You're going to hell you motherfucker!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: BK

Woman on cell: Satan don't wear no panties, negro. That shit flies free.

–Astoria, Queens

Overheard by: Celia