Thugette flight attendant, yelling as plane is about to take off: Sir! Turn off yo laptop!
Suit: (holds cord to show it's not plugged in)
Thugette flight attendant: Uh-uh! I can see the reflection in yo glasses.
Suit: (takes off headphones)
Thugette flight attendant: I saaaaid I can see the reflection in yo glasses, turn yo laptop off, turn it off, turn it oooooooooooooff!
Suit: (shuts laptop)
–Small Commuter Plane Leaving JFK
Airport customs officer: Are you bringing in any fruits or vegetables or anything that needs to be washed?
Non-sarcastic tourist: I have dirty clothes.
–JFK
Overheard by: MJMJ
Female black security guard to male black security guard: So you got two kids that you know of…
–MoMa
Security agent: You are now entering the metal detector area, so those of you with wooden cell phones should feel free to keep those in your pockets.
–JFK
Overheard by: Jason
Security guard to teens blocking entrance: Hmm, just what I need at 9 am, a motherfucking school group.
–Paley's Museum of Radio and Television
Overheard by: scarface
Security guard on cell: Why isn't your hand on your butt?
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: Lord Almighty
Library security guard: Welcome to the library, where your wildest dreams come true.
–St. John's University
Girl: Ugh, I feel worse then a garbage bag full of smashed assholes.
Guy: Um, what?
Girl: It's a common saying!
–JetBlue Terminal, JFK
Overheard by: I'm with the guy on this one
Captain, upon landing: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the United States of America.
Middle aged woman: Bleheeeeeeh! (vomits profusely for five minutes)
–JFK
Little girl to woman walking by: Oh, look–another person, sooooo interesting. It's not like we haven't seen enough of those today.
–D'Agnostino's, Greenwich & Barrow
Overheard by: Margo
Boy walking in church to mom: And when we walk in we'll hear Gregorian chants.
–Trinity Church
Four-year-old boy, after plane's smooth landing: Whoa, that was solid!
–JFK Airport
Overheard by: jen
Kid at birthday party: I thought they were feeding us ice cream, not shit!
–McDonald's, Bayside
Adorable child having a temper tantrum: I don't want to walk, I want to go in the stroller!
(mother ignores him) I'm melting… I'm meeelllting!
–New York Transit Museum
Overheard by: NatalyaPetrovna
Little boy, collapsing onto mother's lap: I am so hungover.
Mother: What?! No you're not! (to anyone within earshot) No, he's not.
–JFK Airport
Overheard by: Darcie
Eleven-year-old #1 (gasping): You have a PSP? That's so *royal*!
Eleven-year-old #2: I know! Isn't it sexy?
–JetBlue Flight, JFK
Overheard by: emily
Elegantly dressed French lady, speaking to New York Bus Service representative: Excuse me, when does the bus arrive?
Overweight representative, screaming: The port authoritah bus come 'erry ha'f hour!
Elegantly dressed French lady (pausing and turning to French friend): Wow. And I thought my English sucked.
–Terminal One, JFK
Overheard by: James
Man: Hey, is that postcard in 3D?
Woman: Nope. It's just normal d.
–JFK
