Mother: What do you mean by “she's obsessed with him”?
Five-year-old daughter: Cause she's all like…up his butt!
–Staten Island
Overheard by: Green Star
Mother: What do you mean by “she's obsessed with him”?
Five-year-old daughter: Cause she's all like…up his butt!
–Staten Island
Overheard by: Green Star
Mom: What was it we needed to do again?
Daughter: Get pepper for the zombies.
Mom: Oh, yes, right.
–5th Ave
Little boy, in silent temple: Hey, Jews! [Five minutes later] Oh, man, I just farted!
–Queens
Overheard by: Mo and Mell
Headline by: haz
Runners-Up:
· “And Moses Said to the Israelities: Pull My Finger” – Luddite
· “Little Hitler’s First Attempt at Gassing Jews….” – Allison Brown-Hancock
· “The Day the Jews Told Jesus to Make His Own Religion” – Alice
· “Would a Gas Chamber Joke Be Over the Line?” – wilkeson
Little girl at Turkish booth, holding up one a glass evil eye: Daaaddyyy! I need this!
Dad: Honey, you don’t even know what that is.
Little girl: But the man said it would work if you believe, and I believe, Daddy, I really, really do!
–Columbus Circle Holiday Bazaar
Overheard by: Katie
Five-year-old boy to mother: It smells like penis in here!
Embarrassed mother: “Peanuts”. Honey, you mean “peanuts”.
Five-year-old boy: No. Penis! (points to his crotch)
–Duane Reade in Penn Station
Overheard by: Dawn D.
Mom: I'm not made of money, you know!
Kid: You look like you are.
Mom: Well, I'm not.
–Strand Bookstore
Overheard by: she didn't look like she was…
Kid #1, to kid #2 on bike: Come on, let me ride on the pegs.
Kid #2: No.
Kid #1: Fine, I’ll ride you.
–129th St, Rockaway
Overheard by: Robert
Little boy: Mommy, I want this!
Mom: Do you want Santa to bring it for you?
Little boy: No, I want you to get it now.
–FAO Schwarz, 5th Avenue
Overheard by: CMC
Guy: I don't think bees even have vaginas.
–23rd & 3rd
Suit to another: I want him scrutinized. At a gnat's ass level!
–Midtown Office
Middle school thug: I been radioactivatin' spiders in my kitchen.
–C Train
Overheard by: Emily B.
Mother to five-year-old boy: No, you can't buy grandma a plastic spider for Christmas!
–74th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Harriet Vane's Husband
Guy on cell: Hey, did I tell you I got drunk last night and ordered 1,500 ladybugs off the internet?
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ashley
Mom, loudly: Who does mommy love?
Screaming toddler, holding cup in stroller: Tee tee tee!
Mom: Mommy loves the baby! And who's the baby?
Child: Tee tee tee!
Mom: Are you the baby?
(child starts crying)
Mom: Oh, stop that! You're old enough to drink a latte, so quit crying.
–183rd St & Ft. Washington Ave
Overheard by: Anna
