Little boy, pointing at polar bear decal: Cat!
Nanny: That's right.
Little boy, point to same decal: Dog!
Nanny: That's right.
–Park Slope
Little boy, pointing at polar bear decal: Cat!
Nanny: That's right.
Little boy, point to same decal: Dog!
Nanny: That's right.
–Park Slope
Kid on cell: I am about to kill myself because of you!
Hobo in wheelchair: Do it! Do it! You haven’t got the balls!
–Prince between Mulberry & Mott
Overheard by: Hashashin
Suit: Did they tip their 45s to their homies?
–Park Avenue
Overheard by: SuperVixen
Suit on phone: 500 milligrams? That's nothing. First, you need to start looking at the definition of possession…
–Broadway & Reade
Suit to little son: I need to teach you the difference between "homos" and "hobos." You'll understand easily, (giggles) …not much of a difference.
–Doctor's Office, Carrol Gardens
Suit on phone, snickering: Your posts are turd sandwiches!
–4th Ave & 13th St
Overheard by: ris
Suit on cell: I say go for it. You're rich, she's hungry. What could be more perfect?
–47th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Adrienne
Black boy: This hobo offered me some weed today on the train.
Mother: Did you take it?
Black boy: Yeah. She kinda looked like grandma.
–Jamaica Center, Parsons Blvd & Archer Ave
Mother: What do you mean by “she's obsessed with him”?
Five-year-old daughter: Cause she's all like…up his butt!
–Staten Island
Overheard by: Green Star
Mom: What was it we needed to do again?
Daughter: Get pepper for the zombies.
Mom: Oh, yes, right.
–5th Ave
Little boy, in silent temple: Hey, Jews! [Five minutes later] Oh, man, I just farted!
–Queens
Overheard by: Mo and Mell
Headline by: haz
Runners-Up:
· “And Moses Said to the Israelities: Pull My Finger” – Luddite
· “Little Hitler’s First Attempt at Gassing Jews….” – Allison Brown-Hancock
· “The Day the Jews Told Jesus to Make His Own Religion” – Alice
· “Would a Gas Chamber Joke Be Over the Line?” – wilkeson
Little girl at Turkish booth, holding up one a glass evil eye: Daaaddyyy! I need this!
Dad: Honey, you don’t even know what that is.
Little girl: But the man said it would work if you believe, and I believe, Daddy, I really, really do!
–Columbus Circle Holiday Bazaar
Overheard by: Katie
Five-year-old boy to mother: It smells like penis in here!
Embarrassed mother: “Peanuts”. Honey, you mean “peanuts”.
Five-year-old boy: No. Penis! (points to his crotch)
–Duane Reade in Penn Station
Overheard by: Dawn D.
Mom: I'm not made of money, you know!
Kid: You look like you are.
Mom: Well, I'm not.
–Strand Bookstore
Overheard by: she didn't look like she was…
