Young boy, singing: I love you! You love me! We’re as happy as two can be!
Mother: I’ll show you how much I fucking love you!
–D train, Fordham Rd
Overheard by: horrified
Young boy, singing: I love you! You love me! We’re as happy as two can be!
Mother: I’ll show you how much I fucking love you!
–D train, Fordham Rd
Overheard by: horrified
Girl: But I don’t wanna be a geisha.
Mother: We’ll talk about it when we get home.
–55th between 2nd & 3rd
Overheard by: Chris Evans
Mother, pointing at poster: Now, who has a hat?
Toddler: Keith Richards.
Mother: Yes, Keith Richards has a hat. Good observation!
–7th Ave & 5th St, Park Slope
Woman #1: Oooh! Look! A kid’s store! It’s so cute!
Woman #2: I hate you. I hate you for telling me that.
–5th Ave
Overheard by: Hannah
Little girl: Daddy! Why can’t I try? Why can’t I ride it?
Dad, on mini-bike: Because I’m God, and God says so.
–72nd & 5th
Overheard by: better off agnostic
Little girl: Christmas is next!
Mother: No, first is Halloween, then Thanksgiving, and then Christmas.
Little girl: And then we die!
–Tea Lounge, Park Slope
Guy #1: That was a beautiful pit bull.
Guy #2: Yeah, I’d love to have that pit bull, but I’m not responsible enough to have a dog. I’m gonna have some kids first so they can be responsible for the dog.
–Amtrak train
Fat kid: Can we take the elevator?
Dad: No, Charlie, come up the stairs.
Fat kid: But this is IMPOSSIBLE!
Dad: No, it isn’t impossible. Now move up the stairs.
–Subway, Bryant Park
Overheard by: Rita
Little Girl: Mommy, where is heaven?
Ghetto Mommy: Right around the corner from my ass.
–Astoria Blvd
Overheard by: Meg
Headline by: Jim
Runners-Up:
· “A Little ‘Piece’ of Heaven” – Mistress Squidia
· “And on the 28th Day, There Came a Rain of Blood From Heaven…” – smo
· “Cleveland, However, Is Closer to the Armpit.” – Paul Nielsen
· “From Rear to Eternity” – ilemanzer
· “Heaven i’taint.” – Lee
· “Holy Shit” – lounamaa
· “I Don’t Think That’s What Carrie Underwood Meant When She Sang: ‘I Wanna Be Inside Your Heaven'” – Jenny
· “Must Be a ZoroASStrian” – John P.
· “Sample Curriculum from the Sunday School Taught by Mary Kay Letourneau” – steph
· “Suprisingly, More People Get into Heaven Than You’re Led to Believe in Church.” – J.C.
· “Then How Can Godliness Be Next to Cleanliness?” – kelynsh
Ten-year-old: If I work on my claw skills, I will always be able to tell what time it is!
–CVS, Lexington Ave
Child tourist: There’s so many people. Don’t they have jobs?
–Times Square
Overheard by: rae
Young boy: Were you sniffing my father?
–Bronx Zoo
Little girl: I can’t wait ’til I have my own psychic friend.
–181st & Pinehurst
Overheard by: Josh h
Young boy: Mommy, I wanna go see the thongs.
–Saks
Overheard by: Butt Floss
Young girl tourist, exiting taxi: Goodbye! I love you! More than all the other cabs!
–Thompson & 3rd
Overheard by: kerm and mere
Little girl: You always make things up! You made this game up, you made the rules up, you even made me up!
–19th Ave, Brooklyn
