Mother to toddler: Do I love you a lot or a little?
Toddler: A little?
Mother: No, a lot! It's your shithead father that only loves you a little!
–Jay St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Margaret
Mother to toddler: Do I love you a lot or a little?
Toddler: A little?
Mother: No, a lot! It's your shithead father that only loves you a little!
–Jay St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Margaret
Little boy, looking up at animatronic T-Rex: Look! I want to sit on its head!
Mother: I want to feed you to it!
–Toys R Us, Times Square
Overheard by: Lea
Five-year-old white child: Mommy, today’s Kwanzaa!
Mom: Yes, honey.
Five-year-old white child: And tomorrow is Kwanzaa!
Mom: Uh-huh. Yes.
Five-year-old white child: And the day after! Ahhh! [Child squeals with delight.]
–Fulton & Nassau
Little girl, peeking under shower curtain: Hi!
Lady in shower: Hi!
Little girl, pulling back shower curtain: Hiiii! Wow! Mom! Come here! You need to see this!
–Dodge YMCA Locker Room, Brooklyn
Mother: … And I cleaned your pillow cases…
Screaming child: No!
Mother: … And your blankets…
Screaming child: No!
Mother: … And your sheets!
Screaming child: No! No! No! [Cries.]
–Astoria
Overheard by: Almost too cold to laugh
Mother: Okay, now when we get to the movie theater, your mother needs to go to the bathroom… No groaning!
Little boy, groaning: You have to pee, like, eight times a day! And on the airplane, you get up, like, 10 times!
Mother: Well, I drink a lot of water.
Little boy: And wine.
Mother: Well…
–M104 bus
Sorority chick leaving a democratic rally where hillary clinton spoke: God, they all sounded so political!
–Wagner College
5 year-old boy (to his mother): Is it true that obama's going to raise taxes?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Jen
Woman on cell: I'm trying to find joe sixpack. (pause) no, I don't know joe sixpack.
–98th & Broadway
Several middle-aged, wealthy #40 something upper east side ladies at the dinner table next to us at a french restaurant, discussing politics. The last point on sarah palin: "her hair's fine, her glasses are fine, her clothes are ok but I'm sorry, she's a fucking loser."
–Jacques Brasserie — Upper East Side
Overheard by: Lindsey Miller
Drunk girl: "if lil' wayne was president, things would be running much more smoothly."
–E Houston St & Lafayette St,
Overheard by: Teddy
"my cousin said that obama is the antichrist."
(pause).
"that's mad rude, right?"
–M66
Overheard by: Charley
Little boy, pointing at two midget passersby: Whoa! Mom, look! That is so cool!
Midgets: Haha, dude, that little boy is awesome!
–1221 Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Sellout In A Suit
Big Kid: If that bitch ass didn’t tell on me I wouldn’t have gotten in trouble.
Little Kid: If you would have stayed out of trouble in the first place you wouldn’t have gotten in trouble.
–Bed-Stuy
Overheard by: richard blakeley
Dad: See, that’s why the bus has stopped. Look at all those people getting on the bus.
Little boy: Zombies! They’re all zombies! Millions and millions of zombies!
–M15 Bus
