Scaffolding: [loud boom]Girl: Holy shit.
Construction worker #1: Hey, it’s OK, don’t worry.
Construction worker #2: Yeah, we have insurance!
–81st & 2nd
Overheard by: another girl about to walk under the death tr
Scaffolding: [loud boom]Girl: Holy shit.
Construction worker #1: Hey, it’s OK, don’t worry.
Construction worker #2: Yeah, we have insurance!
–81st & 2nd
Overheard by: another girl about to walk under the death tr
Female student: Do you guys have any empty boxes that I could possibly have?
Clerk: No, I’m sorry.
Female student: What about all of those empty boxes over there?
Clerk: We sell boxes, so we’re not allowed to give out boxes for free.
Female student: Okay. How much are the boxes you’re selling?
Clerk: Actually, we’re sold out.
Female student: Okay, if you don’t have any more boxes for sale, can I have some of those empty boxes over there?
Clerk: No.
–Columbia University Bookstore, 115th & Broadway
Overheard by: djlindee
Girl #1: Oh my god! I just heard that Katie Holmes had her baby! Katie Holmes had her baby, everyone!
Girl #2: Xenu commands you to shut the fuck up while I’m on the phone with my dealer.
–6th Avenue & West 4th Street
Overheard by: Robin M.
(cf. When we broke this story.)
Little girl: Are we going to Manhattan to the big shopping mall place?
Dad: You’ve spent enough money. We’re going to Manhattan and riding in a cab!
–Amtrak to Penn Station
Overheard by: Erica
Salesguy #1: Dude, I think I smell or something…
Salesguy #2: You smell like the robust combination of onions and poop.
–The Puma Store, Broadway & Spring
Overheard by: Jeeps
Man: I can’t leave my door unlocked in the Barrio. Someone might sneak in and steal all my spices.
–42nd & Ditmars, Astoria
Man on cell: Now why the fuck would you go and eat my ravioli? Dat’s mine!
–42nd & Lex
Overheard by: Danny
Black tween girl: And that nigga bitch Rihanna thinks she can do ballet? Shit! I can do ballet. The only thing I ever seen that nigga do right is eat fried chicken.
–Q train
Overheard by: kb
Woman: I mean, I would have loved rice. We all would have loved rice.
–8th St between 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: Jaya
Chick: The other day I ate a hot dog, and it had a bone in it. I don’t know what animal they make hot dogs out of, but I’m pretty sure they don’t have bones.
–34th & 7th
Overheard by: seth kleinman
Girl: Food is like candy.
–92nd & Broadway
Shrewd observer: He is either in the Army or chews a lot of gum.
–Ludlow & Rivington
Overheard by: pete Lanpr
Lady: There ain’t no way I’m standing in front of a stove all day making tuna salad. It’s fucking hot!
–104th & Broadway
Overheard by: Fatty McFingers
Queer: Oh my God, cottage cheese is albino diarrhea.
–City Diner, 90th & Broadway
Man to child in stroller: What do you want? You want money? Do you want money or a bagel?
–Absolut Bagels, 108th & Broadway
Overheard by: another jew
Chick on cell: …No, not years of porn, ears of corn! Corn, like you eat!
–Ding Dong’s, 106th & Columbus
Overheard by: Jas
Passionate woman: I just love egg white! It’s like painting to me! The texture, the smell…
–17th & Broadway
Overheard by: Shivvers
Pringles lover: Yeah, he’s, like, all that minus the bag of chips.
–14th St between 5th & 6th
Overheard by: the chips
Big black dude: So tell me, how much would it cost to get a huuuuge jar of mayonnaise, outta state?
–Uptown 5 train
Teen girl #1: No, I don’t think I’ll be buying a chocolate vagina.
Teen girl #2: Why not?! It tastes like chocolate but looks like a vagina!
Teen girl #1: Okay… maybe.
–45th & Broadway
Tourist: Wow, it’s like a whole underground city thing here!
Local: I dont know any freaks who would want to live in a city like this.
–Times Square subway station
Overheard by: LSB
Guy #1: So what should we get him for his birthday?
Guy #2: I don’t know….what about a menorah?
Guy #1: What? But it’s not Hannukah.
Guy #2: Yeah, but he’s Jewish. And his room is dark.
–Union Square
Overheard by: curious
Guy #1: So, I had this dream about Janet Jackson last night.
Guy #2: Yeah?
Guy #1: She told me, “Mitch, get your shit together”.
–9th Street & 1st Avenue
