Manhattan

Old british man, to liquor store employees: Have any of you ever tried this beer?
Thugged-out liquor store employee #1: Nah.
Old british man: Oh, it’s a splendid Belgian stout, very sweet. It’s my absolute favorite variety of Belgian beer. You should try it sometime. It is absolutely divine, a tastebud sensation the likes of which I can guarantee you’ve never known. Well, have a great night, chaps. [Pays for his beer and walks out.]Thugged-out liquor store employee #1: Yo, dog, you hear that guy’s accent? You think his accent was real?
Thugged-out liquor store employee #2: Nah.
Thugged-out liquor store employee #1: I don’t think so, either.
Thugged-out liquor store employee #2: It couldn’t have been real. You hear that guy? He ain’t from no foreign country. He spoke perfect English.

–Liquor Store, Manhattan

Overheard by: daile

Guy: You see that bum? He wouldn’t even look me in the eye. I know him from the Bronx. Evvverybody knows everybody in the Bronx, especially if you do drugs. He’s a liar…His daughter did die, but 3 years ago. He got so much money hustlin’ on the D train, but now they all know it’s bullshit, so he came all the way to Queens….what, he gotta bury his daughter every year? He gonna ask for money when the girl died 20 yrs ago?…And if you don’t got money for a burial, the city gives it to you. He fulla shit.

–7 train

Overheard by: MR

Standing in line is a guy with a massive 12-roll pack of toilet paper. His buddy comes up to join him and says: I always knew you were full of shit.

–Rite Aid, Irving Place

Overheard by: Vera Farrelly

Ranting woman: We should be boycotting products from all those big corporations like Microsoft, and General Motors, and Nike, and–
Hobo: Shut the fuck up before the corporation gets to you and tortures you to death.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Ting

Deli guy: Getting some beers?
Customer guy: Yup. Three for me and one for my dog.

–Bodega, Amsterdam & 109th

Guy: Oh my god, no art is worth this. I don’t care if I get to blow Picasso, I’m not waiting in this line.

–75th & Park

Overheard by: Long John

Woman #1: So, your vagina’s open, right?
Woman #2: …yeah.
Woman #1: And there’s a smell.
Woman #2: Um.
Woman #1: And it’s a very personal smell!

–Broadway & Waverly

Guy on cell: Yeah, I spoke to Jack Black about it… right, yeah. I think he’ll do just about anything at this point. [pause] Jack Black. Jack Black. [pause] Oh, Jack White. Jack Black is the comedian. Yeah.

–Starbucks, 51st & Broadway

Overheard by: Jim

Girl #1: What did she just say?
Girl #2: She said “quesadilla”.
Girl #1: Huh?
Girl #2: It’s Latin.

–AMC Empire 25, West 42nd Street

Gay man: Have you ever smelled your ass, after you buttfuck?

–18th & 6th

Overheard by: Dana

Guy: Have you ever been to D.C. before?
Girl: Yeah I used to go there and go to museums all the time for spring break because I’m not a, you know, go-to-Mexico-and-get-date-raped kind of person.

–119th & 2nd

Overheard by: epsd101