Why You Shouldn't Teach Little Kids About Fascism: Explained.

Yuppie father: You will learn Italian.
Four-year-old daughter, yelling: Noooo! I wanna have fun!
Yuppie mother with French accent: But you had fun learning French! You will have fun learning Italian.
Four-year-old daughter: Nooooooooo!

–Park Slope

Overheard by: D-Law

Posted on January 27, 2015
Dads, Kids, Languages, Moms, Parents, Park Slope, Wishes & desires, Yuppies

Going Where People Don't Even Own Their Own Brownstones

Upper East Side mom #1: So then I go twice a week over to the JCC, and after I get back I take them.
Upper East Side mom #2, looking disgusted: You mean the JCC on the West Side?
Upper East Side mom #1: Yes.
Upper East Side mom #2: Oh my god! You are a dedicated mother.

–Dalton Physical Education Center, 87th & 3rd

Overheard by: West Sider

Posted on January 25, 2015
Compliments, Kids, Moms, Parents, School, Stupidity, Upper East Side

Of Course, Mom! And They’re Excellent Places to Have Sex

Local: Where you do want to go today, Mom?
Tourist mom: I don’t know. A museum?
Local: We always go to a museum when you visit. Let’s try a new one this time. We haven’t been to the Guggenheim. The Museum of Sex is interesting.
Tourist mom: Museum of what? Museum of Sex? They have that here?! Please tell me you don’t go there. Do you go to church these days? Hmmm? Do they have churches in this city?!

–Union Square Park

Posted on January 24, 2015
Advice, Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Education, Moms, Parents, Parks, Religion, Talking/Convos, Tourism, Tourists

Law and Order Finally Runs Out of Plot Scenarios

Mother on stoop: You need to get inside this house, now.
Fat 11-year old boy: Ten more minutes!
Mother: No, now.
Fat 11-year old boy (yelling): Ten! More! Minutes!
Mother: Don't make me call the cops!

–23rd & 4th Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Claire H.

Posted on January 24, 2015
Boys, Brooklyn, Cops, Default, Fat People, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Parents, Threats, Time

But Then Won't You Have to Entertain Me?

Very young misbehaving child: But mommy! I really want it!
Annoyed mother: If you don't behave, I'm going to delete all the music off your iPod!

–H&M 35th & 7th

Overheard by: Marissa Pelly

Posted on January 23, 2015
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, iPod, Kids, Moms, Parents, Should've Used a Condom, Store, Threats, Wishes & desires

Coffee + Kids: A Simulation.

Little girl, singing: Now we open door! Go to coffee store! Now we get a muffin…
Tired-looking mom: No more muffins.
Little girl, still singing: Now we beg for more!

–Brooklyn

Posted on January 23, 2015
Brooklyn, Food, Kids, Moms, Parents

This “Winner” Sure Got Some Prize

Little boy: No, I want them both! Mommy, you’re a loser!
Mommy: Are you calling Mommy a loser? Well, then you’re not getting
anything.
Little boy: No, I’m calling you a winner now! I love you!

–Toys “R” Us, Times Square

Overheard by: lindsey Lanpher

Posted on January 20, 2015
Boys, Kids, Lies, Moms, Shopping, Store

It's Not Just Trees That Have Trouble Growing in Brooklyn

Mother to toddler: Do I love you a lot or a little?
Toddler: A little?
Mother: No, a lot! It's your shithead father that only loves you a little!

–Jay St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Margaret

Posted on January 20, 2015
Brooklyn, Insults, Kids, Love, Moms, Parents, Questions, Weirdness

Since the Lion at the Zoo Apparently Wasn't Hungry

Little boy, looking up at animatronic T-Rex: Look! I want to sit on its head!
Mother: I want to feed you to it!

–Toys R Us, Times Square

Overheard by: Lea

Posted on January 20, 2015
Animals & Nature, Kids, Moms, Parents, Should've Used a Condom, Store, Threats, Times Square, Wishes & desires

Hi, My Name Is Susie, and I’m a Kwanzaaholic

Five-year-old white child: Mommy, today’s Kwanzaa!
Mom: Yes, honey.
Five-year-old white child: And tomorrow is Kwanzaa!
Mom: Uh-huh. Yes.
Five-year-old white child: And the day after! Ahhh! [Child squeals with delight.]

–Fulton & Nassau

Posted on January 19, 2015
Holidays, Kids, Moms, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Moms