Stoner #1: Okay, so George Bush is our President, right?
Stoner #2: Yeah.
Stoner #1: If the Vice President dies, who's the President?
Stoner #2: Umm… George Washington.
(hysterical laughter)
Stoner #3: You bringing back niggas from the dead and shit.
Stoner #1: You just like my dad, we asked him who was the first President, he was like (imitates Asian accent) Oh, oh…okay, I know this, I know this… George Lincoln.
–Internet Cafe, Mott St.
Overheard by: Hugh
20-something yuppie guy: You said your name is Demetria?
Sassy black teenager: My name is Demetriatis: Rhymes wit' goddess, cause I'm da hottes'.
20-something yuppie guy: So your name is Demetria?
–PATH Train
Girl #1: What is Dr. Phil's first name, anyway?
Girl #2: Uhhh…
–14th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Jessie
Drunk guy #1: I haven't really done anything past missionary.
Drunk guy #2: Dude, why?
Drunk guy #1: Well I did do this one where she bent over and my balls kept on smacking her ass.
Drunk guy #2: Doggie style?
Drunk guy #1: No, not doggie style, I've seen dogs fuck, and it wasn't like this, like my balls were really smacking her ass, it made a sound. I watched dogs, their balls don't make a sound like that. It was like a smack, you know.
–PATH Train
Punk rocker to ghetto chick: Say…you ever been fucked by a smelly guy in a banana suit?
–J Train
Overheard by: Markthrone
Loud, laughing redhead on cell: Ha ha! I'll plant another pear tree, and that will be Tricia!
–W 57th St
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Brosef to girls (oddly aggressively): Which do you like more, bananas or oranges? Say it!
–14th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Rooting for bananas
Guy on cell: Did you order the poster of the banana?
–Central Park
Overheard by: urbanadventurer
Overachiever mom to 5-year-old girl: No, I'm not saying that you have to have a piece of fruit. I'm saying that when we get there, you'll get to choose. It'll be your choice. You can choose fruit or you can choose a granola bar. (pause) Of course, fruit is the healthier choice.
–7th Ave & 26th St
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Heavily tattooed man: So we started playing this game. We shoved grapes up her ass, and she had to drop them in a martini glass.
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Housey
Old woman #1: Oh, the Brown lady…
(old woman #2 stares, horrified)
Old woman #1: Her husband is Brown. (long pause) The surname.
Old woman #2: Ohhhh…
–10th & 3rd
Bimbette #1: I thought his name was Alexander Gumball! I feel like such an idiot!
Bimbette #2: I know, when I heard his name was Graham Bell I was like oh, Bell…that makes so much sense!
–Prince & Lafayette
Overheard by: jayso
Daphne: But he called me Bernice!
Friend: Well, that's as unusual as Daphne.
Daphne: I guess.
–54th & 7th
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Man: Yo mama, what you readin'?
College girl: Jazz, by Toni Morrison.
Man: Oh that's cool. What's it about?
College girl: Music.
Man: What kind of music? Is that about opera and shit?
College girl: Ummm…
–E Train
Overheard by: Is that like Britney's music?
Thug to baby momma: You see, what had happened was Zack Morris married Kelly Kaposki in Vegas.
Baby momma: That's what had happened?
Thug: Yeah, and then Kelly Kaposki changed her name and she stayed in Vegas.
–W. 117th & Lenox
