Younger woman: Have you seen any of the Chihuly glass?
Elderly woman: Yes, it looks like penises with diseases!
–New York Botanical Garden, the Bronx
Younger woman: Have you seen any of the Chihuly glass?
Elderly woman: Yes, it looks like penises with diseases!
–New York Botanical Garden, the Bronx
Brooklyn guy: All I’m sayin’ is it goes without sayin’.
–Brooklyn bound D train
Overheard by: Robert Barry Francos
Hoochie on cell: I don’t want that. I’m looking for sauce. Sauce sauce sauce sauce sauce! S-A-U-S-C-E. Sauce!
–Waldbaum’s, Whitestone, Queens
Overheard by: Liz the Overheardista
Teen girl: Do you think Christmas will ever be on Friday the 13th?
–Times Square
Woman in elevator: She said 13…Where’s 13? What the… fuck? There’s no 13. Should I press 12? Or 14? What?…She said 13. Well I’ll just press both.
–22nd & Broadway
Overheard by: staring at the button for 13
Elderly woman, regarding painting: Would you look at the detail he put into this. It almost looks two dimensional.
–The Met
Overheard by: s.gothman
Tween boy: Did the dinosaurs come before or after Bible times?
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Omg! He did not just ask that!
Older wife: How did you get these seats?
Older husband: I had to pinch her titties.
Older wife: That must have been fun.
Older husband: As a matter of fact, it was.
–Row D, Lyceum Theatre, 45th & Broadway
Grandma: Now, your daddy didn’t come out of my vagina. He was sideways, so he couldn’t come out of my vagina. His body couldn’t fit out of my vagina.
4 year old: Oh.
–Bodies exhibit, South Street Seaport
Old lady, standing in front of the Leda and the Swan statue: Gee, I guess she must really like that swan.
–The Met
Frat boy: She was real “Helen of Troy” pussy.
–Bedford Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: the fiend
Old man, to man who has just sneezed on him: Fuck you, you shithead! Ya goddamn farthole!
–44th & 8th
Overheard by: Jeremy Tortora
Crazy guy: And I’m just gonna take a shit in his fucking mouth.
–9th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Zak Santucci
Old man, to dog: Shit already, damnit! Do you hear me?! Shit already!
–51st & 8th
Old lady: Why would anyone ever want to move to Queens?
–R train
Overheard by: mo
Old-lady candy-pusher: I be sellin’ candy for the school. I have M&Ms and Jujyfruits and Almond Joy with and without the nuts.
Drunken gay guy: Nobody wants your candy. It probably has razor blades in it and shit. Just go away.
Old-lady candy-pusher: Look at you talkin’. You are the anti man!
–downtown 2 train
Overheard by: Stefanie
Guy, pushing on the door between cars: Can you not go between cars when it’s moving?
Old lady: It’s not the subway. You have to pull.
Guy pulls hard on the handle.
Old lady: Turn and pull.
Guy, passing through the door, shouts back loudly over his shoulder: So I push the next one?
–Metro-North, Harlem Line
Old lady #1: So you’re gonna pour gasoline on him, and I’m gonna light the match.
Old lady #2: Mm hmm.
–114th & 5th
Overheard by: robin b
