Station lady: Go down those stairs over there, and the track is on your left.
Old woman: Where?
Station lady: Down those stairs, on your left.
Old woman: Thank you! I wish I had your job.
Station lady: You couldn’t handle my job.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: GregumsdaGreggy
Old Jewess: Where are you from originally?
Preggers: China.
Old Jewess: Oh that’s good, because you know everyone wants an Asian baby now.
–Filene’s Basement, 79th & Broadway
Overheard by: Barth
Old woman: My mother kept saying that she wants to have carpet installed over her stone floors, but I don’t think that’s such a good idea. She’s incontinent, and as I always say, “carpeting and
incontinence do not belong in the same sentence!”
–Office, 66th & York
Overheard by: Molly the Mole
Old woman: I was only a bridesmaid once, and the dresses were just impossible. The color was this menopause blue!
–Jojo, East 64th Street
Overheard by: Molly the Mole
Woman: No thanks, the shoes just didn’t look good on me.
Salesguy: Thanks for trying.
Woman: Uh, you’re welcome?
–Steve Madden, East 86th Street
Overheard by: Lucy
Old man: Is this bench for young people or old people? Because I only sit with the young.
Woman: It’s for everyone.
Old man: Well, since it’s Christmastime, I’ll sit with you.
–Roosevelt Island station
Overheard by: Suriya
Old lady #1: Even when they say “happy holidays” to me, I say “merry Christmas” back.
Old lady #2: Good for you.
–34th & 7th
Overheard by: Kenneth Grider
Woman: So when is Christmas this year?
Man: Um. I think it’s on Sunday this year.
Woman: No, I mean what date is it?
–Clinton Hill
Overheard by: Megan Winget
Old lady: They are going to strike? They should put up signs fuckers! I see you looking at me you skinny bitch, fuck you.
Conductor: The doors are closing.
Old lady: Can’t put up signs but the fucker is telling me the doors are closing.
–F train
Hobo: Don’t worry about the strike, we’ll all fly to work! Flap our wings and fly!
–14th & 7th
Guy: I was there at the strike in 1980; I remember it well. It went on for two weeks. Of course, they could never have it that long now. The population of the city has doubled since 1980.
–Bowling Green station
Overheard by: greek goddess
Conductor: Shit, I’ll get nasty right now. I’ll pull the brakes, see how they like that.
–1 train
Overheard by: Priscilla Castillo
Tween boy: So how’s the strike going?
Bus driver: If there was a strike I wouldn’t be here, you moron.
–M15 bus
Overheard by: Sara’s Hot
Old guy: Shit, I ain’t goin’ ice skating, I ain’t no motherfuckin’ ice skater. I’m a thug, I’m a motherfuckin’ thug nigga. Fuckin’ ice skater…L’il girl, you going ice skating?
–The Pond, Bryant Park
Overheard by: C.G.
Old lady #1: I have this paperwork that I need to fill out for my doctor and it asks if I’m allergic to any medications. Can I put down penicillin?
Old lady #2: No one is allergic to penicillin! How did you have an allergic reaction to it?
Old lady #1: Well, it gave me a yeast infection.
–6 train
Overheard by: Crystal Rodriguez
Old man on pay phone: If I see another nigger on this street, I’m gonna rip his dick off and eat it!
–Chambers & Church
Overheard by: Ziggy
