Girl #1: Is he reading the Bible?
Girl #2: No, it's something about Nazis, can't you see the swastika?
–Q36 Bus
Girl #1: Is he reading the Bible?
Girl #2: No, it's something about Nazis, can't you see the swastika?
–Q36 Bus
Large black bus driver: Ladies and gentlemen, I see a lot of black people on here and you are going to have to move to the back of the bus, cause we got a bunch of white folk up here that gotta get on! (pause) I'm not kidding. If there were white folk back there I'd tell them to move, but it's all black folk, so you're gonna have to get over it and move to the back of the bus!
Large black woman to small white girl: You can have my seat if you want.
Small white girl: No, thanks… I'm okay.
Large black woman: I'm not gonna go Rosa Parks on you… You have a lot of shit… You can take the seat.
–M60 Bus
Girl: If I ever met Johnny Depp, I'd rape him.
Boy: How does a woman rape a man?
Girl: If I ever met Johnny Depp, you'd find out.
–S54 Bus, Staten Island
Overheard by: Tracy
Boyfriend: So you heard 'bout the Russian guy, the Jewish one? He's both, ya know. Russian and Jewish.
Girlfriend: Yeah, I know. Jewish is a religion.
Boyfriend: Yeah.
–B61 Bus
Teen boy: No, I can't hide a bottle there. She makes me do it with the door open. She'll see.
Teen friend: She's going to watch you pee?
Teen boy: No, I have my back to her, but she'll notice a bottle. Maybe I can use a Visine bottle.
Teen friend: Just tell her that a positive result is good and negative is bad.
–B1 Bus
20-something hipster girl #1: What's up with that girl you used to live with?
20-something hipster girl #2: Well, it's not like I still talk to her… She won't add me on Facebook.
20-something hipster girl #1: Why not?!
20-something hipster girl #2: She tried to kill me!
–M86 Bus
Overheard by: emily darwin
Little girl: Orange juice is good, but oranges are bad. Peanut butter is good, but peanuts are bad. Why?
Friend: Hahahahaha! You said penis.
Little girl: Hahahahahaah! Penis!
–M104 Bus
Smelly white teenager #1: Yo, man! I haven't been to school in over a week and a half. I've been just chillin' with my girlfriend.
Smelly white teenager #2: Oh, wow! Really?
Smelly white teenager #1: Yeah, I dunno what I'm gonna tell my parents–you know, when I first heard of the Passion of the Christ I thought it was a porno.
–Q58 Bus
Overheard by: Queens Girl
Teen to friends: I want to get a haircut, but every time I get a haircut I get arrested.
–Union Square
Cashier: This line is closed! Unless one of y'all wants to drive me to my hair appointment!
–Home Depot
Woman to friend: Why can't he have a normal man haircut? Like, with short sides?
–Dekalb Ave & Oxford
Overheard by: Daniel Boris Dzula
Manic lady to no one in particular: Pay homage to my hair!
–B61 Bus
Drunk hipster: Donald Trump's hair is the Blarney Stone of New York.
–East Village
Overheard by: Concerned Irishman
Female teenage hood rat #1: Yeah, he broke up with her. She was too quiet all the time, too soft.
Female teenage hood rat #2: (mumbles incoherently)
Female teenage hood rat #1: Yeah, now he wants to kick her ass.
–Q4 Bus, Queens
