FAQsday One-Liners

NYU girl: It's a box, though… Can you FedEx a box?

–Starbucks

Overheard by: Elena

Tourist: So… Are we like, underground now?

–NRW Train

Overheard by: Stacey

Mom in toy store: Do you guys have any organic play-doh?

–7th Ave & Garfield, Park Slope

Overheard by: persiangroove

Teen tourist bimbo, looking at Rockefeller Center Christmas tree Swarovski tree topper: So, can we buy it?

–Rockefeller Center

Overheard by: Kaitlen

20-something girl: Wait, so what's a blog?

–55th & 6th

Thug on bus on cell: Yeah, I just got on the bus. How will I know when it's the third stop?
(goes on to get off on the second stop)

–Roosevelt Island

Posted on April 21, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bimbettes, Bus, Clerks, Customers, Directions, For Sale, Girls, Internet, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Money & Class, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Bus, One-liners, Park Slope, Public Transportation, Questions, Rockefeller Center, Shopping, Sorority Girls, Starbucks, Street, Stupidity, Teens, Thugs, Tourism, Tourists, Trains Not Subway, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners

Raise Your Hand If You Loved Gosford Park

Fat girl: With my connections, I could be a lawyer or executive or some nonsense like that.
Fat boyfriend: So why don't you?
Fat girl: Cuz I hate shoveling that political BS.
Fat boyfriend: So you just keep on being a janitor?
Fat girl: Maid.

–M7 Bus

Posted on April 15, 2010
Bus, Couples, Fat People, Gripes, Jobs & Careers, On the Bus, Questions

Who Insisted on a Prenup

Five-year-old girl: This is where rich people shop, right mommy?
Mother: Yes it is.
Five-year-old girl: Will we ever shop here?
Mother: Not while I'm still married to your father.

–Bus at 5th Ave

Overheard by: Cat

Posted on April 13, 2010
Bus, Kids, Marriage, Moms, Money & Class, On the Bus, Shopping

Stupid First Amendment

Girl #1: Is he reading the Bible?
Girl #2: No, it's something about Nazis, can't you see the swastika?

–Q36 Bus

Posted on March 28, 2010
Books & Writing, Bus, Christianity, Girls, Hitler/Nazis, On the Bus

New York Has a Lot Of Nice People (Don't Tell Anybody)

Large black bus driver: Ladies and gentlemen, I see a lot of black people on here and you are going to have to move to the back of the bus, cause we got a bunch of white folk up here that gotta get on! (pause) I'm not kidding. If there were white folk back there I'd tell them to move, but it's all black folk, so you're gonna have to get over it and move to the back of the bus!
Large black woman to small white girl: You can have my seat if you want.
Small white girl: No, thanks… I'm okay.
Large black woman: I'm not gonna go Rosa Parks on you… You have a lot of shit… You can take the seat.

–M60 Bus

Posted on March 23, 2010
Black People, Bus, Bus Drivers, Offers and requests, On the Bus, Public Transportation, Race, White People

…Repeatedly

Girl: If I ever met Johnny Depp, I'd rape him.
Boy: How does a woman rape a man?
Girl: If I ever met Johnny Depp, you'd find out.

–S54 Bus, Staten Island

Overheard by: Tracy

Posted on March 20, 2010
About Celebrities, Boys, Bus, Gender issues, Girls, On the Bus, Rape, Staten Island

His Parents Had to Walk Into a Bar

Boyfriend: So you heard 'bout the Russian guy, the Jewish one? He's both, ya know. Russian and Jewish.
Girlfriend: Yeah, I know. Jewish is a religion.
Boyfriend: Yeah.

–B61 Bus

Posted on February 9, 2010
Bus, Couples, Foreigners, Judaism, On the Bus

Like You Did About That Whole HIV Thing

Teen boy: No, I can't hide a bottle there. She makes me do it with the door open. She'll see.
Teen friend: She's going to watch you pee?
Teen boy: No, I have my back to her, but she'll notice a bottle. Maybe I can use a Visine bottle.
Teen friend: Just tell her that a positive result is good and negative is bad.

–B1 Bus

Posted on February 8, 2010
Bus, Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Friends, Health and Hygiene, On the Bus, Pee, Questions, Teens

Facebook Calls It “Unfriending With Extreme Prejudice”

20-something hipster girl #1: What's up with that girl you used to live with?
20-something hipster girl #2: Well, it's not like I still talk to her… She won't add me on Facebook.
20-something hipster girl #1: Why not?!
20-something hipster girl #2: She tried to kill me!

–M86 Bus

Overheard by: emily darwin

Posted on December 29, 2009
Bus, Facebook, Hipsters, Murder, On the Bus, Relationships, Weirdness

What About Penis Juice, Though?

Little girl: Orange juice is good, but oranges are bad. Peanut butter is good, but peanuts are bad. Why?
Friend: Hahahahaha! You said penis.
Little girl: Hahahahahaah! Penis!

–M104 Bus

Posted on December 26, 2009
Bus, Compare/Contrast, Drinks, Friends, Fruit, Kids, Laughter, On the Bus, Penis

On the Bus