Three people get up to let a group of old ladies sit.
Old lady #1: Don’t you hate when they do that?
Old lady #2: [nods in agreement]
–Uptown E train
Overheard by: did not get up
Three people get up to let a group of old ladies sit.
Old lady #1: Don’t you hate when they do that?
Old lady #2: [nods in agreement]
–Uptown E train
Overheard by: did not get up
Conductor on intercom: Eh, Bill, we have two guys in wheelchairs near the middle of the platform…
Bill, the driver: … Are they racing?
–Metro-North to Dobbs Ferry
Overheard by: Eleanor
Foreigner: She is lovely. But growing like a cow.
American friend: She is bit of a pork chop.
Foreigner: But she does not look like a man. Which is a good thing.
–6 Train
Grandson: I wanna watch that show Chuck — about the spy.
Grandma: Cluck? It’s called ‘Cluck’?
Grandson: Chuck. He’s a spy.
Grandma: Cluck? Like a chicken?
Grandson: Grandma, you’re stupid.
Grandma: I just don’t think a chicken would make a good spy. He’d always be clucking.
Grandson: He’s not a chicken, he’s a spy.
Grandma: But then again, no one expects a chicken… Damn chickens…
–L train
College girl #1: He loves you.
College girl #2: Don’t say that!
College girl #1: Why not?
College girl #2: Because I have horrible self-esteem!
–7 train
Overheard by: Phillip Roncoroni
Park slope kid : Mommy, mommy, mommy! Can you fart?
Park slope mom, hesitant: That's not something to say on a train, sweetie. And no.
(little girls starts to throw a fit)
Park slope kid: Why not?!
–F Train
Man #1: So, shit, man, what was it like in prison?
Man #2: I learned how to make a girl out of three baloney sandwiches.
–L train
Overheard by: Sarah Lippek
Guy: …and he had, like, shark teeth! Three fucking rows of them! I swear.
–Fulton & Gold
Little girl: Hey mom, what's a cloister?
Little boy: It's a Pokemon, duh!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Melissa
Girl #1: I have an idea, why don’t we keep the doors open so even more people can pack in? Are we close enough yet?
Guy: Yeah. I could start crowd surfing.
Girl #1: It just sucks being squeezed in like this. Especially when you have to get off at the next stop–
Guy: Like you are going to do.
Girl #1: –and people won’t get out of the way. It’s like they don’t understand that you have to get off. This time I’m going to be like, “Bitches, get out of my way!”
Guy: Yeah.
Girl #1: I’m just trying to find one thing about this that doesn’t suck and I’ve got nothing.
Guy: Me either.
Girl #1: This is a nightmare…It’s so annoying to be forced to be so close to so many people in such a small space–
Girl #2: Yeah, it is really annoying, especially when you are forced to hear someone else’s conversation.
Guy: Whoa! What timing.
–L train
