Large man: Girl… You is white.
Pale girl: No, I'm not.
Large man: No. You is white. Like Shirley Temple or Betty Crocker, or somethin.
–D Train
Overheard by: Tiffany Schleigh
Large man: Girl… You is white.
Pale girl: No, I'm not.
Large man: No. You is white. Like Shirley Temple or Betty Crocker, or somethin.
–D Train
Overheard by: Tiffany Schleigh
Yuppie #1: I told James I could do it, but it would be better if I worked my way up to it.
Yuppie #2: Gotcha. You think I should film it? I guess I could always delete it…
–Q train
Overheard by: Ben Couch
New Columbia student #1: So what are you majoring in?
New Columbia student #2: Um, like, math I guess.
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: DH
Woman #1: You just know that’s going to be David in a few years. The one with $6 million just sitting in the bank.
Woman #2: I know. You wouldn’t expect it of him, though.
Woman #1: Yeah. I’m still trying to figure out what kind of insane he is.
Woman #2: Hmm. Manic, maybe?
–6 train
Teen boy #1: Man, I tell you, da reason France don’t want us in Iraq is dat dey know the second we done in Baddad we is headed right over the border and straight into Paris.
Teen boy #2: Nigga, you’se is ignorant. Iraq ain’t next to no France.
Teen boy #1: Nah man, I ain’t sayin it is right up on France, but, you know, it goes Iraq, Germany, some otha country, then France, so it is close.
Teen boy #2: Ain’t you eva seen no map? I’ma gonna show you when we get to school. That shit is in Africa, between Lidia and Egypt.
–F train
Overheard by: Ed Salcedo
Guy: I asked you if you knew where he lived; you pointed to Iraq!
Girl: Well, I don’t know. How was I supposed to know?
Guy: Iraq is not the same as Israel.
–Duane Reade, 28th & Park
Overheard by: Jack B
Tourist: Why does everyone on this train look so sad? Everybody looks like they’re having the worst day. [To girl sitting next to him] Are you having a bad day?
Girl: No.
Tourist: Probably because it’s so cold here. Is it always so cold here?
Girl: No. It’s really cold for March.
Tourist: It’s too cold to go swimming, isn’t it?
Girl: Yes.
Tourist: Oh, well. We’re headed uptown. What do you think my chances of seeing Woody Allen are?
Girl: Very slim.
–Manhattan-bound 4 train
Teen girl #1: I like him cause he’s tough, but he ain’t thug.
Teen girl #2: Oh, he’s thug. He got that tattoo, he wears his pants all baggy and he got that great big coat.
Teen girl #1: Yeah, he got that tattoo, but them other things…he just short.
–A train
Overheard by: iiams
Guy to friends: A girl farted on my head once, and I dated her for three years.
–14th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: MC
Woman to friend: And then he farted in my mouth.
–Ding Dong Lounge
Overheard by: Rosalind
Hobo, farting loudly, turning at girl walking behind him: That's for you, you fucking bitch!
–Yellow Line Subway Station
Overheard by: Craigalanche
Latina on cell, firmly: I'm not bi-curious, I'm just fart-curious
–49th & 5th
Overheard by: olga
Crazy hobo: Once, I was eating Cracker Jacks, you know, the one with the prize in it? When I finished the box, I farted in it, then sealed it up again. When I opened it a week later, I got the surprise of my life!
–1 Train
Overheard by: nella
Girl #1: Man, if I'm going to go to that party tonight, I gotta shave my hair.
Girl #2: Yeah, me too. Where is the best price around here?
Girl #3: There's one on Lexington by my place, and a guy does it, and he's so hot I just want him to accidentally shove his dick up me.
Girl #2: Then we'll go to that place!
–6 Train
Overheard by: Andrew
Son: Why you doin’ that?
Father: I am your father. It’s my job.
Son: No, it’s not.
Father: But I’m enjoying what I’m doing.
–1 train, Chamber St
