Woman #1: So I decided to celebrate turning 50 by traveling to Tibet.
Woman #2: Tibet? Where’s that? London?
Woman #1: …No, it’s near China and Russia.
Woman #2: Oh. It’s not like I don’t like to travel but I went to Mexico once and it was stupid.
–4 train
Soulful black man: Well, think about this. A white man lived in Graceland, a black man lived in Neverland. (nods knowingly)
–Downtown A Train
Overheard by: Bearsian
Gallery director to intern: So after he was arrested we sent a letter to Henry Gates asking him for money, you know, since we are a multicultural organization.
–Lower East Side Art Gallery
Latina to Latino: Latinos and black people can't be racist. That's, like, just white people.
–Red Hook, Brooklyn
White hobo: When I see a black nigger together with a white nigger, that just confuses the hell outta me.
–Houston & Clinton
Woman: She likes black dogs because she's black, and I like white dogs because I'm white.
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: Yehuda
Suit on cell: I expected pus, but it’s got little black specks in it.
–Pelham Bay Park, the Bronx
Overheard by: HelenA.Handbasket
Suit: When I said “fairy tale” I meant like Mother Goose–not Miss Dirty Martini!
–F train
Overheard by: braincurve
Suit #1 to suit #2: Oh sure, I’ve got a source. I can get you a kidney, no problem.
–Madison Square Park
Female suit on cell: I don’t think you’re hearing what I’m saying. I think you’re in a very nagging place right now.
–Duane & Broadway
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Middle-Aged suit: Boobies boobies boobies. Boobies boobies boobies…
–41st & 8th
Suit on cell: So there’s gonna be total chaos on September 14th, but that’s all we have planned so far.
–Church St
Overheard by: Dara
Suit: My goal in life is to one day sue someone.
–A train
Overheard by: LSB
Cute girl to drunk friend sitting provocatively with a miniskirt on: Sit up, Beth, your coochie's hangin' out.
Drunk friend: I can't get up. (yelling) Does anyone on this train have a problem with my vagina hanging out?
(train is silent)
Drunk friend: See? No one cares. Vaginas are like modern art these days.
Cute girl: I guess.
Drunk friend: You could take a picture of my snatch right now, frame it, make it look like Warhol, and it would sell in the MoMA for five thousand bucks. Hell, I should be charging admission fees right now. Anyone who comes to see my snatch exhibit and doesn't buy a copy is a misogynist.
–A Train
Hipster boy: So, that’s mine. What’s yours?
Hipster girl: Mine’s anal.
Hipster boy: Um, anal’s not really a position. It’s more of an opening.
–6 train
Overheard by: LBs
Conductor #1: What’s going on?
Conductor #2: Some passengers found a suspicious bag.
Conductor #1: What did you do?
Conductor #2: I threw it in the garbage.
–1 train
High school girl #1: Yeah, she really needs to take better care of herself!
High school girl #2: Well, not anymore. She's dead.
High school girl #1: Well, she should have.
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: Christiana Little
A lady and her family are standing up in the train. It’s very crowded and her little boy isn’t holding onto anything. He keeps falling against her with his face right in her crotch as the train swerves. She says: That’s right, I’m gonna push you back up in there. Four years of nothing but trouble!
–1 train
White suit to another, seeing Asian guy: I’m sure he’ll help us. He’s yellow… Uh, I mean, Asian…
–Q train, 14th & Union Square
Girl #1: What did you get from your secret Santa?
Girl #2: Just some soaps and smelly stuff from Bath & Body Works. Oh, and a free promotional CD that my secret Santa told me was free.
Girl #1: Who was your secret Santa anyway?
Girl #2: Amy. I saw what she got from her secret Santa. It was a Santa vibrator.
Girl #1: A Santa vibrator! Much cooler than soaps and a free CD.
Girl #2: Yeah, I guess so. Until I stole the Santa vibrator off her desk. It was fucking small, though. As big as my pinkie.
–N train
Overheard by: michelle luvey
