Hobo: Can you give me five dollars?
Lady walking past: No.
Hobo: Pine cones are very good for you.
Lady: Um… Okay.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Lisa
Hobo: Can you give me five dollars?
Lady walking past: No.
Hobo: Pine cones are very good for you.
Lady: Um… Okay.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Lisa
Girl on cell: Okay, how do I put this delicately? (pause) Yeah, I don't think I can. Here's the difference between you and me: when I hear that a guy I like is riddled with STDs, I cut off all ties and stop thinking of him as a potential sexual conquest. (pause) Alright, dude, but don't come crying to me when you get your first outbreak.
–Chelsea
Overheard by: tatunit
20-something girl: I swear to god: if I get syphilis, I'm spreading it.
–Penn Station
Girl on cell phone: Yeah, and then the lady asked me to take off my pants because she wanted to do an examination. Well, I freaked because it's like a fucking jungle down there, and I wasn't expecting the exam. It was alright, though, the poster in front of me with disgusting images of vaginas with warts and cysts and stuff gave me comfort that the situation could be a lot more embarrassing.
–NYU Health Center
Girl on cell: I didn't say anything about your sister having herpes!
–Hunter College
Crazy health teacher: Now I am going to speak about sexually transmitted diseases. I know this is a subject which you enjoy. (students laugh) What? It is true. Everyone begins to grow excited when I speak of this subject.
–High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Asian girl #1: Which college do you want to attend?
Asian girl #2: I want to be like common people and go to BMCC.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Lucie
Short girl: I just don't like the winter, it's so depressing.
Suit #1: I know. And I have scratches all over my body.
Suit #2: How did that happen?
Suit #1: I'm not sure, but…
Short girl: Maybe you have scabies!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: The WC
Conductor #1: Please remove your personal belongings from unoccupied seats to allow other passengers to sit.
Conductor #2: Okay, Hitler.
–Amtrak Train, Penn Station
Overheard by: Ames
Guy: Why didn't you just leave?
Woman: I wanted to wait for you, idiot.
Guy: But I said you could just go.
Woman: Whatever, dick. This is exactly why I didn't want to go.
Guy: This is why I asked you. Why do you always have to be like this?
Woman: Why did you fucking ask me if you knew I wouldn't want to go?
Guy: Because you're my wife, and that's my family. I just always thought that I could bring my wife to a family party.
Random passenger: Are you two really married? Is that really your wife?
Guy: Yes.
–LIRR, Penn Station
Very loud woman: He don't wanna marry me, I'm crazy!
Woman sitting next: Ha ha… (then quietly) I know.
–Penn Station
Man, approaching sink: Ugh, there's never any paper towels.
Friend, walking by sinks: I mean, I know my dick's not dirty.
–Penn Station Bathroom
Overheard by: Luke Wallis
Dude #1: I don't even care, man.
Dude #2: I do! I ain't workin' for no fag!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Melanie
Horrified woman to cop: Um, sir? There's a homeless man by the garbage can with his pants down.
Cop, exasperated: Awwww, naked guy!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Fi
